Off the path

I struggle sometimes with life
Well mostly I struggle with myself, and my life
A person told me once that she saw me as someone "born curious" and born "homesick"
Noting that I am "probably" a person who never feels quite like he belongs, never quite right, never quite 'there'.  That struck a chord in my heart.

I recently read a book by Barbara Taylor Brown called  "An Altar in the World"
In this book she talks about some unique versions of spiritual practices, including the
practice of being "lost".

She starts by talking a cow paths, worn through pastures, across hills.
I know about cow-paths, living in Eastern Oregon
and often follow them while riding in the woods.

Cows know how to get from point A to B in the easiest safest way
and they unerringly follow their paths

It seems that we develop paths in our lives as well,
narrow paths, some made by others, some by ourselves....
These "patterns", these narrow red threads in the hard ground
may I call them "ruts" ?
are our practiced ways going through the "pasture"
the way of getting from point A to point B
of negotiating life.

We tend to stay in these ruts.  We often like them.  They feel safe and comfortable.
But sometimes we get off the path. Sometimes this is on purpose,
but more often than not it is when life happens.  Things change.  We get sick
Someone we love dies.

When we leave the path it is scary.  But this "unpredictable territory" is full of life.  True we cannot always
see where we are putting our feet.  It means we can no longer afford to stay unconscious, we can no longer count on the beat-down path making all our choices for us...

But  we begin to see new things...
Hear new things
Learn new things...
In other words, its not all bad.  And so Taylor talks about making this "lostness" a spiritual practice
and notes that God does some of God's best work with people who are
seriously lost.  She also notes that the cost of security is bondage...

What does it mean to make those moments when we are "off path" and feeling lost
and vulnerable a spiritual practice?  Taylor suggests that it means letting these moments show us what is real - who we are, who others are, and how near God can be...


Taylor ends the chapter in her book this way  "You can get lost [in many ways].  You can get lost looking for God.  However it happens take heart.  Others before you have found a way in the wilderness where
there are as many angels as  there are wild beasts and plenty of other lost people too.  All it takes is one of them to find you.  All it takes is you to find one of them."

Here is to all the wilderness people.  Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Jesus (yes even him, 40 days in the wasteland full of questions), Paul - and me - and you

Blessings