Suffering

A very wise man once said

that suffering equals the difference

between what we want

or think we need

and what we have

I supposed then that the deepest suffering

is related to those desires

that are closest to our heart

that are deepest

 

and perhaps the most powerful desire

is that we be appreciated

valued

loved

 

I listen to many people share their struggles

and so often the source of their pain

is the belief that they are not valued

perhaps worse

that they have no value

 

and thus, are not 

respected

or loved

 

for many life is nothing more than an ongoing process

of trying to find love

or more accurately, earn love

 

they believe
that unless they give
and give
and give
they will not be loved

it doesn't work of course
because our sense of value
our understanding that we are loved
comes ultimately from within

it comes from knowing that Love
the Sacred
that God

who is love
dwells within

that we come from love
are part of love
and are loved, no strings attached

 

Mark Nepo has a challenging meditation

that gets at the heart of this deep ailment.

He suggests that we breathe, and then do two things

 

Think about a person important to us (Perhaps God might be a good target too)

and imagine ourselves being loved by that person if we did nothing

 

and then he asks us to do (what to me) is a really difficult thing

loving ourselves, if we do nothing

 

his point?

that we are at our core

loved

and lovable 

 

If we can grab

and hold on to that deep truth

there is no gap, between what we want and what we have

we already have 

that which we so deeply desire!