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Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning



Monday, January 18, 2016

May I be I (and Thou be Thou)

“may I be I is the only prayer--not may I be great or good or beautiful or wise or strong.”
― E.E. Cummings
_______________________________________________

I have always believed

although I would deny it
if said it was so,

that life is a test

and that to pass the test,
and be relevant,
meaningful or
worthy

one has to be good,
or beautiful or wise or strong

and so I have spent my life
taking the test –

studying
working
writing
striving

determined to prove to myself (and everyone else)
 that I am worthy of respect
someone to like, nay to love

so life has become a blur
of things done (and sometimes undone)

ah, I have done good things!
I have helped people spiritually (so I am told)
and helped those with mental illness find recovery

I have married and buried
written books
developed programs
led agencies

I have been on the cutting edge of life
Except

“I” has not been “I”

I have been a cipher
slipping like a ghost through life
never quite real, never totally present.

never quite solid enough, still enough

to truly connect
with this world
with its beauty or its pain
to connect with myself
with my beauty or my pain

to connect with others

hello, how can I help?
listening but not listening
as my unquiet mind races on
(frantic activity)
Goodbye,

on to the next part of the test

it is time
I think
(some of us are very slow learners)

to say hello to
the “I” that God created
and to tell it
there is no test

you are valuable
period
no conditions
you are loved
period
no conditions
you are

It is time to sit with myself for a while

and then slowly
gently
lovingly
sit with others
fully

I will always learn and write and serve
and always, I suspect
seek to earn my worth (at least a little)
for that is who I am

but it is time to sit
and listen
and love
and comfort
and touch
and heal

and
be

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