ego

“Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.”

― John Lennon

“The ego is the false self-born out of fear and defensiveness.”

― John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

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There are times that I suffer

If truth be told, most of the time

I create my own suffering

Or rather, my ego does

The ego is that part of me that wants to be significant,

important by itself

unique

powerful

separate and superior.

I notice the ego asks a lot of questions!

Am I enough?

Am I safe?

Am I important?

Am I noticed?

Am I valued, appreciated, respected?

Do people like me?

Find me attractive (or even sexy)?

Do people see me as competent, and effective

There are problems with the ego

It is fragile, always being insulted

And always, it seems, it is defensive and self-protective

It can’t help itself

When I am upset about how someone has treated me

Ego

When I am worried about how I am coming across

Ego

When I see slights everywhere

Ego

When I believe people are evaluating, judging me

Ego

So much of my fear

My sense of being rejected

My anger

My indignation

Comes from my ego

Perhaps

Instead of believing my identity and worth

Are based upon whether I am tall enough, thin enough

Handsome enough, rich enough

Successful enough

Powerful enough

Admired enough

Respected enough

Valued enough

I just realize that my value is inherent

That I do not have to be defined by those things

Perhaps what I need to remember

Is that I am a broken and blessed Child of God

One God values so much that God draws near

And claims me as God’s own

Child of God

Child of God

Child of God

Perhaps that awareness is all that I need

“All great spirituality teaches about letting go of what you don’t need and who you are not. Then, when you can get little enough and naked enough and poor enough, you’ll find that the little place where you really are is ironically more than enough and is all that you need. At that place, you will have nothing to prove to anybody and nothing to protect.  That place is called freedom. It’s the freedom of the children of God. Such people can connect with everybody. They don’t feel the need to eliminate anybody . . .”

(Richard Rohr, Healing Our Violence through the Journey of Centering Prayer)

And perhaps, secure in being loved

Perhaps, being free

I won’t have to suffer

At my own hands