I am therefore I think

I am

Therefore I think

It is not always good thing

There are times when it feels as if there are a thousand TV blaring in my skull

All of them on a different station!

There are times when it is like a whirlwind

And I cannot grab

One cogent thought out of the chaos

At other times my thoughts simply fail

Slipping away in to oblivion

Lost

Like the mountain in the clouds of winter

Names, dates

Appointments, tasks

Gone

In the twinkling of an eye

And oh the thoughts that come

“you are not enough”

“you failed”

“you are not loved”

“you need to quit”

My brain is a bully

No doubt about it

And O the feelings it generates

Fear, anger

Hopelessness, helplessness

Sometimes I think my mind

While trying to define me

Causes me to lose my self

Drawing me away from my heart

Drawing me away from my soul

Someday, perhaps,

I will learn to live from the heart

Not from the mind

Someday, perhaps, although probably not today

I will learn to listen to the prompting of the Sacred within

Rather than the voice of my unreasonable reason

Perhaps someday, I will learn to “step away from the brain”

“be transformed” I am exhorted, “by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12)

The only way that is going to happen

Is if I learn to quiet the mind

to have a calm brain

where the storm is quieted

and I can hear a single drop of rain

land on the pond

hear the ripple of the waves

the song of the sparrow

the cry of the hawk

where the chaos is stilled

and the cry of the heart is heard

“the mind is now stilled

hear the loving call of the Sacred

I am now at peace”