The Juggler

It restlessly tumbles through my body

Like water, cascading down a

Rocky stream deep in the Cascades

Cascading down

Roaring

Pushing until my whole being

Is roiling

And so I sit

Phone buzzing

Mind racing

Bits of me scattered everywhere

A text

An email, a task undone

Clarion calls for action and response

That I feel I cannot

Dare not ignore

And there you sit

My friend

Attentive and caring

Wanting just a piece of my time

But the chaos claims me

And as I desperately juggle

The pieces of my universe

The precious piece that is you

Tumbles to the earth

And lays there neglected

a gift lost

________________________________________________________

There are way too many times in my life

When I, in my anxiety, am a juggler

I have so much up in the air at any one time

For fear that if I don’t answer that text, right now

Or that email, right now

If I don’t start worrying about that task left undone,

Right now

That all those things I am juggling will start to come crashing to the earth

And I will be revealed as what Brennan Manning calls “a faker, a poser, a wannabe”

For all of you my friends, who have tried to claim my attention

For just a moment

And have not gotten it 

I am sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness

For you, that person in front of me, is immeasurably more important

Than anything else on this earth

In that moment!