Homesick

I met a woman once

I thought she was kind of crazy

she took a picture of your "aura"

and then offered to tell you about yourself

It turns out that my profile could be summed up in one word

homesick

or to put it another way, 

I feel like I am never "at home"

what an awkward place to be

since i have always believed that the goal of any sacred story

is to come back home

is "home" the place I have constructed?

or is "home" something else

perhaps it is becoming what I always dreamed of being

perhaps it is returning to my original myth

but in a deeper day

maybe coming home

is doing it right this time

yet this call

which is both backwards and forwards at the same time

is puzzling to me

perhaps i am called to leave this place

this place I am

which is now home

to find a place that is more real

perhaps I am called to leave this self

that I have so carefully constructed

to "lose my life" as Jesus puts it,

to leave my "false self" in order to find my true self?

But how will I know my 'home' when I find it

and how will i know my true self?

Perhaps all I can say is that I seek

to be the one, who, from the beginning

I was

in the mind and heart of God