The Suffering Formula

Christopher Germer

in his book on self compassion says that suffering equals the gap between what we have, and what we want.

I thought a lot about that today

I work with a lot of hurting people and I know have to agree

much of the pain I see comes from expectations that are, to put it mildly, unrealistic

I expect people to like me

I expect my mother, who has never been nurturing, to nurture me

I expect to be well of

I expect that my wife (or husband) will always treat me with respect

I am disappointed in life

it is not what I expected!

And I have to admit

it all becomes even more powerful when I look at myself.

I want to be a certain type of leader

i want to be a certain kind of boss

I want to be loved

I want 

I want 

I want

As long as I hang on to my expectations

my ideas about how things should be

even my ideas about God, and how God works

As long as I am attached to

my things

my dreams

my wants

I am usually miserable

discontent

Lord help me let go

of my wants, 

my desires

my expectations

and gratefully accept

moment by moment

the gifts that come my way