Such awful thoughts

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.
Anne Lamott
________________________________-
i read the words
of those who seem unaware
of how hateful they are

i hear the words of those who would
humiliate and wound
i listen to the stories
of the wounded
those crushed by parents who told them
they were nothing
nothing
( and yes, i remember my own hurts
and yes,
my own failures
and my own intolerance)
and i seethe
the anger
and bitterness
and loathing
roils and boils within
such awful thoughts,
they cannot be held
must not be held
they must be released
placed at a distance
so I might breathe
again
and hope
again
and love
again