Grace, and more grace

“I do not understand the mystery of grace -- only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us.”

― Anne Lamott

_______________________________________

here I stand

for better or for worse

64 (and a half) years grey

a little pudgy (these days)

my once hyper mind is slowing down

and sometimes feels like it needs

jumper cables to get it started

multi-tasking is becoming mythology

and I can no longer run on 5 hours of sleep a night

but that is not the worst part

I have made amazing

almost mythical mistakes

that over the years

have cost me dearly

and at times my errors haunt me

my insecurities have caused me to put on

a veneer which looks way too much like arrogance

or at the very least indifference

I have little ability to relax and

just

be

me

and at times I am needy, greedy,

and am just downright, unlikeable

I do not feel

like a beloved child of God

a precious soul

at all, at all

I am tired

somewhat isolated

and frankly

I am not sure I do anything well any more

I think of myself as disposable

sub-human

deficit

and it is in this place

that the Sacred meets me

and gives me a Holy Hug

and says

let’s start again

now

its you and Me