Sadness

When it is misty, in the evenings, and I am out walking by myself, it seems to me that the rain is falling through my heart and causing it to crumble into ruins.”

                                                                                 Gustave Flaubert

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there are days

when I am simply ineffably sad

not just on misty winter day

but bright days too

when the sun shines freely

warming the earth

but not my heart which crumbles still

as I am haunted by my own mistakes

by those times when I have behaved poorly

and said things designed to minimize or wound

because I have done damage

intentionally or un-intentionally

I am sad at times because it feels

as I have squandered the great gifts

I was born with

because I have disappointed myself

And disappointed, perhaps even betrayed others

But mostly I am sad

because the whole world seems to be crumbling

along with my heart

dissolving

into rabid talking points

and angry replies

into distrust and deceit

I am battered by all

the anger and hate

that swirl like free radicals

reactive and uncontained

I know that my heart will smile again

as Spirit moves

and love flows

just not today