be yourself

You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place – no place at all. The price is high, the reward is great.

                                                            Maya Angelou

You will always belong anywhere you show up as yourself, and talk about yourself in a real way”

                                                            From Rene Brown

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I was the geeky kid who didn’t quite belong

Oh, I wasn’t “out”

And I had a good childhood

But there was this way, in which I didn’t belong

Or perhaps should more rightly say, in which I didn’t feel I belonged

And so I was always trying to earn accepting

Trying to figure out the magic word that would gain me entrance in

The “inner circle”

Being me just wasn’t an option

I am not sure things have changed a lot

Over the years I have been many things

Pastor, EMT, disaster relief worker, Assistant Professor in a medical school, mental health professional

And still I have felt that I had to

Manufacture a self

So that I would belong

A self for every place

And in the process, I somewhat lost my true self

Not completely perhaps, but in some profound ways

Now as I near 70, the thought occurs to me

Perhaps what I need to do, most of all, is show up as myself

To ground myself in who I really am,

I need to say to myself (Thanks again to Maya Angelou)

“I belong to myself (and by default the Sacred in which I participate), and

I like Stephen very much.  I like the humor and passion and creativity, very much.

And when I find myself not being, just me, then I have to deal with that.”

I belong to me

And I belong to the Sacred woven into my fabric

And if I am just me

I am where I belong

Whether it is comfortable or not

Whether I fit in or not

The price is high sometimes

Being who you really are, and not altering yourself for others

But the reward?

Is great