Saturday, April 29, 2017
we are just not in that place
instead we are in a place
where we do not feel
(that is bad)
(that is worse)
or even liked
(that is the very worst)
we feel alone
“slow, low, ugly, puffy, drooped, pooped”
( I borrowed that, but it fits)
and in those moments
we scream a silent scream
because to voice our pain
gets us judged
(So you are depressed again huh? Why don’t you get help!)
or told all the reason we should not
feel the way we do
(You are fine, fine! God loves you just the way you are!)
and people try to “fix” us
(just breathe, pray, trust – insert advice here ___________ )
but when you can’t get there,
and are told you really should be there,
and you know you should be there,
but you just can’t get there…..
none of that helps
it may all be true
(and the intentions are greatly appreciated and valued)
but it doesn’t help
is to know
that you are not alone
“I hear you”
“Wow, that must be tough”
“I’m with you”
for with someone to be present for you
and walk with you
even in silence
through the places
of ooze and slime and old decay (thanks CS Lewis)
finds one’s way
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Why Does God Love Me?
This is the thing, the core thing that I have the most trouble with in my relationship with the Sacred
Here is what I have come to believe…
God does not love me because I am worthy, because I am lovable
Nor does God love me because I am unlovable, unworthy.
When it comes to love God doesn't seem to work in the realm of
God loves because God is love
that is what God does
that is who God IS
Oh, I know, there are consequences to actions
and we can deny love
I get all that
But, we have no grounds for believing God doesn't LOVE us
because we are unworthy
Jesus makes that very clear
So why is it so hard to grab hold of God’s love?
Beatrice Bruteau makes this startling comment....
"sometimes we want to be loveable more than we want to be loved"
Wow! That is SO me!
I want to be loveable
I want to deserve love, earn love
I want the other person to "have to" love me
I think this gives me power, and control of a sort
if I am wonderful
then I have the power to make the other person love me
and this gives me, so I think, a security of love
of course they must continue to love me!
how could they not?
I have been this...
but to just accept love
and to accept that this love
coming to me may just be
may just emerge out of the heart of the other person
who may be able to love me
because they have accepted love
that comes out of the heart of God...
Honestly, that is difficult
I have trouble going there
It has to be about me
How can there be a love that is
that is how God works
I am not there yet
I am not yet ready to let go of my need to be deserving
and just accept
when it comes
how about you?
From the very beginning, God is able to use unlikely figures, and in one
way or another, they are always unable, inept, unprepared, and incapable.
When I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10)
the Sacred always works
with the material at hand
the tone deaf
the one who insists
“I just can’t speak in front of people”
even the “preacher”
unlikely heroes of the faith
they simply love God
and love others
feed the hungry
comfort the lonely
and heal souls