Anger

What is the real origin of my own anger? Is it the ego defending its territory, or is it something that has its source in the desire for the well-being of all? (73)”

                                           Jean-Yves Leloup, Compassion and Meditation:

                                           The Spiritual Dynamic between Buddhism and Christianity

_____________________________________________________________________

I find myself angry these days

Not a “happy place” to be sure

I don’t like it when I am angry

I don’t like myself when I am angry

the quick wit and sharp tongue

that was so handy growing up as a ‘late bloomer”

(and thus physically smaller than my peers)

is way too evident in these trying times

I find myself deleting a lot of my own comments lately

Ashamed that I ever wrote them

I find myself listening less and talking more

(a read feat for me)

and so I have begun to wonder

what is this all about?

where does it come from?

It could be that I am just trying to establish myself

Carving out space for my ego

or I could be defending my “perspective”

and trying to convince everyone that I am right

(and they are wrong)

I think there are elements of this

to be sure

in far too many things I write and say

but I think that it is more than that

I think at least part of it, I pray that part of it,

is an understanding  that there are just some things that must be said

and certain things that must be fought for, and against.

I hope that my anger, such as it is

Truly has, at times,

 “its source in the desire for the well-being of all”

that my offense is for the poor, the vulnerable

the oppressed,

the minimized

the problem is of course

knowing when it is ego, or fear

and when it is what

for the sake of anything better,

I will call “righteous anger”

God!

Help me to know the difference!

And teach me how to respond differently!

Tripping over Joy

“TRIPPING OVER JOY

What is the difference

Between your experience of Existence

And that of a saint?

The saint knows

That the spiritual path

Is a sublime chess game with God

And that the Beloved

Has just made such a Fantastic Move

That the saint is now continually

Tripping over Joy

And bursting out in Laughter

And saying, “I Surrender!”

Whereas, my dear,

I am afraid you still think

You have a thousand serious moves.”

― Hafiz,

Oh Lord we try sooooo hard to be your people

We struggle and struggle to be

Kind

Compassionate

Giving

Forgiving

We carelessly throw about words like “holy”

And “righteous”

But we have little idea what those words even mean

our whole lives reveal the fact

That we don’t have a clue

Ah yes Lord

It is about surrender, isn’t

It is about relaxing into your presence

Giving you a little room to move

It is understanding that you are constantly, constantly

Moving in our lives to create something good

And our job is throw up our hands

Smile

Say, “you win”

And dance a happy dance!

Child of God

Shane Claiborne talks about a talk he once had with an old hippie friend who, he says “loves Jesus and smokes a lot of weed”.  He and the friends often end up in friendly debates about faith and the Bible.  One day he said to Shane, “Jesus never talked to a prostitute”.  Shane immediately went on the offensive.  “Sure he did” and got ready to spar.  But then his friend looked him in the eye and said “Listen, Jesus never talked to a prostitute because he didn’t see a prostitute.  He just saw a child of God he was madly in love with.”

_____________________________________

Ah child of God

Battered and beaten

Ah child of God

Confused and lost

Ah child of God

Fear full and anxious

Ah child of God

one seen

by the eyes of love

the eyes of the sacred

the eyes of

God

seen as that beautiful

wrinkly wonderful

newborn

who

ah

has five toes

and five fingers

and yes, its father’s nose

and mother’s smile

that perfect child

of promise

of The Promise

who is

deeply

madly

loved