Can we move On

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Pádraig Ó Tuama has a wonderful poem about Peter

poor Peter, wallowing in his grief

and sense of inadequacy

 

there on the shore of the sea

aimlessly fishing

 

Peter, sitting by the fire

his love questioned

not because the questioner did not know,

but because the questioned needed to know

 

do I love him

more than fish, a campfire

the old normal

 

Peter, weeping

Lamenting

 

“I drank from miraculous new waters and then

I faltered while the devil sauntered downtown.

I am the pebble in your crown.

Jerusalem’s new clown.

 

I’ve let you down,

I’ve let you down,

I’ve let you down,

I’ve left me damnwell down

Jesus, you know everything I said,

And then I wept.

 

‘Are we beyond all this?

can we move on?’ he said…

‘can we move on?’ he said…

and let’s move on, ‘ he said to me”  (Ó Tuama)

 

Ah, beloved

how many times have I let you down

have I let me down

have I let those I love and serve down?

 

How many times have I denied

through my thoughts, words, and deeds

love

 

your love

that passes all understanding

that is poured out on all people

all creation?

 

How many times have I spoken in anger

slipped into hate, wandered into resentment

 

how many times have I failed to remember

that you love me

in spite of it all?

 

More than three,

that is for damn sure

 

Jesus, do not let me linger

in the place of guilt, shame, and lament

it is time to embrace

forgiveness

and move on

 

not the same, never the same

not to mindlessly wander down the same paths

and end up back in the same place

by the same campfire

eating the same fish

 

it is time to move on

bearing witness to your love

for me, for them, for all

in my little town

my poor country

 

to the ends of creation…

because you love me

and I love you

inching along

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and he is inching towards glory

with only his own story on his back

he has patched up holes that opened

where his coverings have cracked

and some shoes were never meant for hiking, so

he left them far behind

there are things he needs

on journeys such as these

food and love and drink and warmth and comfort

and a bag that’s small enough

to carry all the failures and the idols

that he’s picked up on the way

 

there are some days

he only moves

an inch or two

 

this is the pace of glory here in exile

          Pádraig Ó Tuama

_____________________________________

 

I inch through life

eternally displaced and homesick

seeking

 

I am not sure I belong here

it does not feel like home

and I, clinging to the vestiges of hope

like tattered clothes

 

wandering

an immigrant, a soul in exile

 

I need to travel light

it is time to abandon all that burdens

that weighs me down

and drains my sparse resources

 

my bag is small

and cannot bear the weight

of too much hate

and fear

 

I need to shed these foul miseries

leaving them, abandoned along the way

as I trod, trod

through each day, through this life

this journey through the wasteland

 

there are many paths through this

great dryness

where I struggle and thirst

and inch

lost and worn

 

I will never make it through

to that place of promise

 

without the One who makes a way

filling valleys and leveling mountains

filling my battered cup

with just enough water to keep me traveling

inching toward glory

 

a refugee

trudging with so many other

exiles

all of us needing Sacred

needing each other

 

sharing our meager gifts

of love, hope, compassion, and joy

trying to find our way home

walking each other

home

 

Say Yes

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In the Irish language there is not a word for ‘yes’.  There is not a word for “no” either.

 

You can only answer in the affirmative – you can say “I will’ or “I won’t.’  You can say ‘I can.’  You can say ‘I am’ or ‘I am not’…

 

Let your yes be yes and your no be no

Let your yes be seen in your doing.

Let your no be not-doing.

If you say yes, but do-not-do, it is a no.

So, forget all your talk.

Tell me by what you do.

                     Pádraig Ó Tauma

_________________________________

 

What does it look like to live

Yes

Yes to God, to life, to love

 

I can say ‘yes’ all I want

And it can simply be noise

A clanging of falsehoods

 

What does ‘yes’ look  like

It looks like patience and humility

It looks like respect

And forgiveness

It looks like joy

 

It does not look like

Envy, boasting, or anger

It is not focused on the self

It does not look like lies

 

It looks like welcoming the stranger

Feeding the hungry

Clothing the naked

 

It looks like fighting for justice

 

I say ‘yes’ when I look on another with compassion

I say ‘yes' when I stand and speak out

Against hate and injustice

I say ‘yes’ when I hold my tongue (sometimes)

And ‘yes’ when I refuse to spew hate

 

May my yes be seen in my doing.

May my no be not-doing

Those things that are not love

 

Its complicated

So complicated

 

And frightening too

How easy it is to stumble over ‘no’ on the way to ‘yes’

 

But there is no other way

This

This is the way, the truth, the life