I am grieving

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I am grieving today for things lost

For symbols and terms that have lost their meaning

Or that have become toxic in the hands and on the lips

Of the evil

And the manipulated and deluded

 

I used to see an American flag flying

And this

Oh, a patriot

Now I think, Oh, a white nationalist

 

I hear the word Christian, and think of Jesus

Now I hear the word and think of MAGA Christianity

Rallying around the flag

And bowing at the feet of a person who is

The antithesis of Jesus

 

I used to hear traditional values

And think of generosity, kindness, inclusion, compassion, and honesty

Now I think of people who are biased and rigid

And dislike everyone who is not

Just like them

 

I used to hear the word conservative

And think of people who were careful, perhaps cautious

Who were OK with change, but were happy to take it slow

Of people who doubled down on the truth

And needed to gather all the facts

 

Now I think radical, stuck, fearful, controlling

And worse

 

 I used to see the cross and think of sacrifice

And radical love

Now I see it wrapped in a flag

And used to promote domination (abusive power)

And wealth

 

It has become weaponized

And turned back into a symbol of oppression

 

I want them all back.

 

I want to celebrate the flag

See patriotism as good

 

I want to argue and then work with

Real conservatives

 

I want the cross and Jesus

To reflect the love of God

 

I want to think of traditional values

And think of the Statue of Liberty

Of a Constitution upheld

Of a President who carries herself with dignity

And treats others with respect

I want to think of love, compassion, and generosity

 

I want to be able to claim that I am a Christian

Without that being seen as a red flag

To all too many people

 

I am grieving

But I am in the market

For hope and joy

No disposable people

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I felt as if I still mattered to God, and I needed to know that … Anne Frank mattered to him, too.  I needed to know that every person behind every pair of shoes recovered from every concentration camp mattered, that God had not forgotten them, that he loved them, and that he knew each of their names.  I needed to know that God does not make disposable people.

          Rachel Held Evans

 

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

          Declaration of Independence,  July 4, 1776

________________________________________

 

Do I matter to God?

Does this aging, somewhat beat-up

Increasingly impatient

Soul

 

Who has done good things,

And terrible things

Who is kind, cruel, intelligent, and incredibly stupid (at times)

Impatient and cranky.

Who is opinionated and yet probably has gotten a lot wrong

 

Do I matter?

Do you?

 

Who matters to God?

 

Do some matter more than others?

Do those who have muttered some formula about Jesus

Matter more than those who haven’t?

 

Do those who are cis matter more than those who are queer?

Do white people matter more than brown people, black people,

Than those who are olive-skinned?

 

Do males matter more than women?

 

Do the beautiful matter more than the common,

The rich more than the poor?

 

On this Fourth of July, hundreds of men

Bedecked with khaki pants, blue shirts, tan caps, white face coverings, and sunglasses

Carrying the flags of domination and racism

Marched

 

Declaring

We matter more

People of color matter less

 

At Mt Rushmore, a man obsessed with power

And full of hubris

Declared that all who oppose him, all who are not like him,

All who do not worship him

Do not matter

At all

 

They are enemies

Dumcrats

Communists (I am not sure he knows what that means)

Enemies

They do not count, they must be excluded, controlled, destroyed

 

I matter, you don’t

That is the creed of Empire.

 

But God says,

Come, all

Come to the table

Come to the table of grace

 

Come, stranger and friend

Come, Jew and Gentile

Come, people from all along the gender spectrum

Come trans children

 

There are no distinctions.

 

You are all children of God.

You are all loved

You are all precious and valuable.

 

So come

From north and south

East and west

Come from Somalia and Haiti

From Syria and Sudan

 

Come

Human creatures may sow and nourish hate and fear

They may attempt to use prejudice

As a way to grab power

They may attempt to detain and deport

To commit ethnic cleansing

Even genocide

 

None of that is from God

At all

At all

 

God does not make disposable people.

 

So come

God loves you, God has not forgotten you

God has called you by name

You belong in this country

You belong at the table

You belong

 

And your presence is something to celebrate

Me too

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Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer

 

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are

Kristen Stewart

 

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Mother Teresa

 

Before pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean.

Bob Marley

________________________________________

 

Sitting in a box

With thousands of precious souls

 

Seeking discernment and direction

For a flawed church

A church blessed and cursed with human creatures

 

I am gathered with people who love God

And embrace God’s way

But still manage to make a mess of things, as often as not

 

Who love each other,

Or at least try to

Wildly and imperfectly

 

We do not all agree

We are not all alike

 

There is every color of the rainbow here

Varying theologies

A full spectrum of genders (and yes, there is a spectrum)

 

There are liberals and conservatives

Farmers and bankers

Urbanites and people from towns so small

You’d miss them if you blinked

 

All seeking to hear

All desiring to be guided by the Sacred

All wanting to be the church,

 

The feet, the arms, the hands

Even the voice of Jesus

Now

 

But we struggle

 

Our problem is that we are convinced

Of our rightness

 

That we have a right view of Jesus

Salvation

Ministry

Gender

All of it

 

My understanding (we say to ourselves)

Is right!

 

Maybe

Maybe not

 

And we don’t know what to do

With those we think are not right

Whose views differ from ours

 

Because in our rightness

They are wrong

Dead wrong

 

And so we judge this person or that

For this stance or that

Because

 

We are right, and they are wrong

And meanwhile, they return the favor

 

So there we are

Divided

Judging (yes, we are)

 

As I sit in the middle of all this

Feeling more righteous at times than I should

 

Two thoughts come to me

 

I have to step away from my rightness

Because even if I am right and in some ways

It is likely I am not right in others

 

I need humility

I need to embrace unknowing

 

I might be wrong

 

I also need to leave space for grace

I am not sure how else to put it

 

But that person, who believes so differently from me

Got there by their own path

 

Would I be different if I had walked that path?

How would I believe if shaped by the parents, teachers, pastors, and life events that person has been shaped by?

 

Can I, even if I still strongly disagree, seek to understand

Seek to find a place of grace from which to

See that other

Who is, after all, as much a child of God as I

 

I am aware it is complicated

What do we do with belief and people who harm?

Who reject, exclude, and diminish?

 

I know I must stand for what I believe is right

And stand up for those who are minimized and oppressed

 

But how do I keep that

Awareness

Of my own fragility

Of the ways in which I, too, am “not right”

 

That keeps me humble and open

Full of love and compassion

 

It is going to be a long week

#GA227