like a mighty wind

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And Jesus

When he had cried again with a loud voice

Gave up the Ghost

 

The nephesh,

The pneuma

The breath of God which had filled him to overflowing

 

So that God poured out of him like a mighty wind

Left

 

Ah, Holy Spirit

Breath of God

 

It makes sense to me

To think of the Presence of the Almighty as breath

It makes sense to think of it filling Jesus

Empowering

Defining

 

Until he was the Son of Man

God with us

 

But there were others who also

Who inspired Sacred Presence

Breathed it in

 

People who were mostly good

Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob

People who had their issues

Ananias, Sapphira, Herod

 

All we are told “gave up the ghost”

Which meant, they all had it.

It was there, in Jesus and Herod

 

It is there in me and in you

We all, this is the mystery of life and grace

Have inspired Sacred

 

God is in us

As close as our breath

 

When we were born

God became a guest

Incarnate if you will

 

When we were born

We became the cradle into which Christ was born

 

And we carry the Sacred with us

Throughout our lives

The more open we are to that Spirit

The more we breathe God in

The more our lives are shaped by God’s presence

 

But all of us

From Jesus to Herod

From a person like Rosemary Carter

To the worst person you can think of

 

Carries the pneuma

In Spiritu

 

And that presence will not leave

Until our time on spaceship Earth is done

Only then

Do we give up the ghost

 

Today I am going to look for the “ghost”

The nephesh/pneuma of God

 

I am going to look for it in the wind that bends the trees

In the frosty breath of the horses

 

I am going to look for it in each person I meet

Each person I see on the news

 

In the rise and fall of each chest

I am going to seek God

Love

Presence

 

And I am going to know

That as long as there is breath, there is God

 

And there is hope

For change, for transformation,

For goodness

For love

 

What have I (we) become?

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it is dark

too dark, too early

there are a plethora of things

"not working"

a myriad of things unfinished

a today I got a look in the mirror

one of those moments when someone special and honest

laid it on the line

and what i know is that I don't like what I have become

it is not just the age

and the chronic pain

and the mind that no longer remembers appointments

its not just the voice that is no longer clear

or the house, which after 20 years, is showing its age

it is not vendors who don't come through

it is me

it is what those forces that I see as negative

are doing to my soul

I have to admit

A lot of what is going on in American hits me hard

And I am confused and pained by trends I see as

wrong

But those movements I disagree with

those people I find difficult

are winning

they are winning because they change me

they make me fearful

harsh

negative

angry, yes angry

and all of that seeps out of my soul

it is not that i think I am wrong about what values and priorities

we need to hold

it is that I think my response is wrong

There needs to be challenge.

Honesty.

A calling out

But it is the “how”

and i have allowed those things that are problematic

those people I think are problematic

to change me

and make me, fundamentally

the same as them

In all faith I say, we have to fight hate with love

but functionally I slip into hate myself

I lament judgementalism and exclusion

and I get sucked into judgementalism and exclusion

We can overcome

Love can overcome

I believe that

But that will not happen

if we become what we resist

There is plenty of room for mea culpas here

maybe maxima mea culpa

But all one can do is look in the mirror

do some repairs

say, "I was wrong"

and keep walking

trying to be the change

Be yourself

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In his book Seeds of New Hope Thomas Merton observes that “a tree gives glory to God by being a tree.”  I often recite this phrase like I mantra in my head as a reminder that my only job is to be my most authentic self.  I’ve discovered that the more I embrace the person God made me, the more I’m able to love God.  And, really, that’s the only thing I can offer to God and to the world.

          Ann Kansfield, Be the Brave One

______________________________________

 

Here is to the weird ones.

The skinny late bloomer ones.

The quiet ones

The loud ones

The confused ones

The Lost ones

 

Here is to the macho ones

Roaring down the road in their pickups

Here is to the musical ones

The creative ones

The queer ones*

 

Here is to all those who are different

And are trying so hard not to be

All those who feel as if they are not enough

And are trying so hard to be

 

Someone others value

Accept

Ah, yes, and love

 

You are a child of God

Just as you are!

 

Try, yes try

To be your authentic self

Your

Authentic

Self

 

Not someone else’s

 

Just be who you were born to be

Quiet and shy

Loud and confident

Cis

Queer

It doesn’t matter

 

You are

You might never have been,

But here you are!

 

And the world would be incomplete without you

 

You are loved

You participate in the love

The love that brought all into being

 

And you are here for a reason

Not sure what that reason is?

 

Then stop

Breathe

Be your self

That is your one job

 

Stop

Breathe

Look around

“The place God calls you to

is the place where your deep gladness

and the world’s deep hunger meet.”  (Frederick Buechner)

 

Not your greatest guilt

Your greatest joy

 

In all joy take your authentic self

And touch the pain with the joy of you

 

“Where your feet take you

That IS you” (Buechner again)

 

So don’t hide

Don't try so hard

Don’t live in fear

Don’t be led into evil by people

Who hate everyone (and probably themselves too)

 

Be your authentic

Self

One loved by God

And thus able to love yourself

And those around you.

 

It is as simple and complex

As that

 

For you give glory to God

Simply by being you

 

____________________

*The word queer is used intentionally in this post to refer to people whose identities are outside of heteronormative, binary gender or sexuality. Queer was once a pejorative term used in ridicule, but today the word has been reclaimed as an expression of LGBTQIA+ pride.