Regard

Presbyterian Bloggers

Powered By Ringsurf

“Not every story has a happy ending, ... but the discoveries of science, the teachings of the heart, and the revelations of the soul all assure us that no human being is ever beyond redemption. The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists. How to support that possibility in others and in ourselves is the ultimate question.”

                                                          Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

______________________________________________________________

Do I believe it

Really?

That no human being is ever beyond redemption

Do I believe it about Trump?

Do I believe it about you?

Do I believe it about me?

It is an important question

For in that answer is the genesis

of who we see others

feel about others

talk about others

treat others

Do we believe that every person is sacred

That each person carries divine DNA

Do we trust that this divine element

Woven into the fabric of each of us

Change the whole

As small as this element may be?

Jesus said yes

The tiny bit of yeast can affect the dough

Just a tiny bit of sacred, and determine who we are

So here is the larger question

The ultimate question

How do we support that possibility in others and in ourselves?

One wise sage once suggested that we must create a “free and friendly space” (Nouwen)

which gives others the freedom to cast off the alien self, created by the world

and become ourselves

that sacred child

How do I do that?

The simple answer is love

But what does love look like?

Perhaps at a profound level it is a matter of giving someone the sense

That there is someone there

Someone for them

Someone who cares

Perhaps, as Rogers once suggested

It is a matter of unconditional positive regard

An offering of worth

That gives the other hope

It stretches my imagination to believe

That this might truly help the most damaged among us

Especially the successful and powerful who are damaged

For with power and wealth their dysfunctional efforts to prove their worth

Are so intrusive

And powerful

And persistent

But what is our option?

We have tried hate

We have tried reward

We have tried punishment and resistance

Why not regard?

I know I do not have this regard in me

I know it will have to borrow it from the Sacred

But perhaps now is the time

In spite of the fact that there may not be a happy ending

To

Try