One of the things I really struggled with for many years was how to pray. Is there a perfect time for prayer? Is there a position for prayer? This was a topic that was once the focus of three preachers. They sat in one minister’s church discussing this while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one. "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." “You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, "he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole.
How do we pray?? Do we pray with urgency? Reflectively? Formally? Informally? The startling thing about his passage is that it seems to indicate that there is NO RIGHT WAY. Paul in Romans hints that we have no clue about how to pray, or what to pray for. In Romans 8 he tells us that we are prayer challenged. Listen to Paul’s words again. “We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit intercedes for us ….according to God’s will.”
It looks to me that with prayer, as with everything else, it is all about God. Prayer only works if we are constantly mentored by God. If in fact we turn control of the whole process over to God. To me this means that prayer is mostly a matter of listening. Or to put it another way, being aware of the promptings of God. This concept goes back a long, long way….For example Psalm 37 says "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for God."
We start with listening. By seeking the “gentle whisper” of God. We start by simply allowing ourselves to be “in the presence”. By waiting for the Spirit of God to speak in the midst of the chaos that is our lives. In short, we let God lead our praying. How often do we go into prayer prepared mostly to talk? We have our list. The things we want to tell God. The things we want God to do. The outcomes we expect God to produce. We have our agenda. But Paul suggests that although we might know what we WANT to prayer for, we really don’t know what we OUGHT to pray for.
Once I realized I wasn’t responsible for the content of my prayer time, it got a lot better - seriously. I could just find a space in my day, it needed only to be a moment, and I could turn to God and say essentially, “Well, here I am God! Anything I need to hear?” And I would wait for the Spirit in me to help me pray. And my prayer was nothing more than a response to the promptings of God.” I still try to pray primarily by letting the Spirit prompt me. Usually I just wait for God to bring things into my mind. A person, a situation. As I sit, or walk, or drive, I just notice what surfaces. That’s what I pray about.
But this raises another question. When God brings things into our prayers, what do we do with them?
Gerald May in his book Will and Spirit suggests that we can be one of two ways. We can be willful, people who keep control of their lives, even their religious lives, or we can be willing, people who let God direct their lives. Prayer for the willful person of is a matter of directing God. I know there are those who feel they need to give God lots of helpful hints. But I struggle with this kind of praying. “God do this. God do that!” I know some strongly believe this is how you pray. And I am not saying there are not moments when we might just burst out a request. But I struggle with what seems like willful praying. This is us creating our future, establishing the direction for our lives
Mind you I do it. But I try not to. I don’t mind having content to my prayer… but mostly I am simply trying to ask for God’s presence and action in my life, and in the lives of those around me. I try to let God bring people or situations or issues in to my mind. And then I really try to simply place that person, or situation, in God’s hands
So, someone comes to my mind. I say “God, I put that person in your hands” That’s all I have to do. I don’t have to tell God what to DO with person, because I don’t know what God wants to do in that person’s life. I just ask god to be there for that person, with love, joy, peace. God knows what to do. A situation comes to mind. I simply pray, “God, there is obviously something you want to do in that situation. I give it to you.” For me this works In short, I am horrible at prayer, so I let the Spirit in me do the praying. And I believe that God knows the right solutions.
Listen again to what Paul says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.” Sounds to me like our job it to follow God where God leads, because God knows what to do. God has it figured out.
So for me prayer is most powerful when I am willing. When I am quiet, wait, listen, and let God move me forward, one choice at a time. Prayer is about one little thing at a time. We like to think of prayer as a strategic session with God where big visions are revealed, where plans for the foreseeable future are developed. But I really don’t think this is the case
I have found prayer more meaningful when I have started to see it as an ongoing consultation about all those small choices we make every day. Wayne Muller reminds us that all of life is really a series of small choice points. We make, he says, hundreds, perhaps thousands of choices each day.
Later he says, “The choice we make again and again is this: Will we shape our moments days, years, inspired by our deepest heart’s wisdom and knowing where the thread of grace will lead us, or shall we be driven by external requirements, demands, fears and coercions?” To return to the image given us by Paul. Will we shape our moments led by the Spirit who intercedes with us with groans that words cannot express?
Our job is to choose, as Muller puts it, “the next right thing” and I see prayer as the process by which we move to “the next right thing”. I believe that as we go through our day, we are called to be in intimate fertile conversation with God (yep, that’s prayer), that we need to practice deep and sacred listening for the next right thing. Then as we let God prompt us, we make that choice, act on it, and then we start looking for the next right choice. In this way, through prayer, we can follow the direction of God, or as Muller puts it, “the breadcrumbs” of God.
So as we listen, as we engage in deep conversation with god through prayer, God keeps putting out those breadcrumbs, and as we respond to those promptings, we move forward with God and discover, and live, God’s intention for us. We will live, as Paul puts it “according to God’s purpose”
Will we always see the breadcrumb – no!
Will we always make the right choice? No!
Will we always choose what is best? No!
Will we always listen? Are you kidding?
But I believe god is the great innovator. And that God can work with whatever choices we make. Remember, “All things work together for God for those who love God”. I think what Paul is saying is that we just pray. We just listen, and respond, as best we can. And if we do so as people who are willing, we can trust God to get us where we need to go.
Then God will lead us choice by choice through the day, through life. And suddenly we will realize that God has brought something forth: We are in a new place, something powerful has happened, we have made it through the dark place
What we can’t do is take over. Jesus said, “The wind blows where it will, and we hear the sound of it, but we do not know where it comes from or where it goes… so is the life of the spirit.” We actually have no idea how to make things turn out the way they should. We don’t know where we are supposed to go. So our job is to stay connected, by constant intimate conversation with God, and be surprised by the wonder and grace of how it all unfolds.
We have to let go of our mistaken presumption that we are somehow responsible to supervise the work of God. That we need to tell God what to do in prayer. Instead we are called to willingly allow ourselves to be led by God. One choice at a time. William Stafford has a wonderful poem called “The Way It Is”
There’s a thread you follow, It goes among things that change
But it doesn’t change, People wonder about what you are pursuing
You have to explain about the thread, But it is hard for others to see
While you hold it you can’t get lost, Tragedies happen, people get hurt
Or die and you suffer and get old, Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding
You don’t even let go of the thread
Our job is to never let go of the thread. From choice to choice to choice we follow the thread of God’s love, god’s best intention for us. We may lose our way from time to time, but the great innovator will nudge us back where we belong. We may feel lost from time to time, but the Spirit will remind us that God is with us. Things may hurt and feel hopeless at times, but we will learn that all things work together for good, for those who love god.
The bottom line? When we listen to God, when we are willing, as we wish for God’s best. As we are in constant deep communion with the sacred, as we pray! We will know the next right thing to do!
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