I am royally screwed!

I learned it as a child

That prayer so many pray

No, not “now I lay me down to sleep”

Although that too was daily staple

For my young spirit

Which delighted in things known

And familiar

“Thy Kingdom Come”

Really?

Is that what I meant to say?

I am not too sure Lord!

Your Kingdom is kind of scary

I mean with horsemen, and trumpets

And all that dark and violent

Kind of like Game of Thrones on steroids!

One thing I am sure of

If I have to earn my way into your kingdom

I am royally screwed

You love me,

And I love you God

And I know I have the responsibility to respond to your love

Love is a responsible thing

It means I do something

And I avoid others….

But Lord all too often I do the wrong things

And I don’t do the right things

Its almost like there are demons Lord

And they haunt me

They drive me

And so, mixed up, confused

And all too often in messes of my own making

I think of the Kingdom

And it seems

So far away

A place I will never find

A home I will never know

And yet, oh Lord

You are patient

You love me (and there is nothing I can do about that)

And you never give up on me

Never

And you use it all

My success, by strength

But also my failure and my hurt

My fear and my grief

To open my heart to you, and your power, and the Kingdom

Thank you that It is in those moments when I feel I don't belong

and can't fit in

and are no longer worthy of being included

that the kingdom is near  (thanks to Thomas Moore)