This moment

This moment

Suspended in time

One tiny piece of a whole history

Moment piled on moment

This moment, ready to be grasped

Shaped and formed

Enjoyed, savored

And yet

I reach and cannot find it

I cannot grab hold of this moment

As in my head demons scream

Filling me with regret for the past

And fear for the future

In the tormented swirl of thoughts

This moment is lost

It slips from my grasp

And then there is stillness

And emptiness

I am undone

My eyes look but do not see

I walk through time barely participating

Barely present in my own body

In my own life

I am frozen in time

and from the empty coldness

a lone tear

issues forth

and glistening

slides down my rigid cheeks

etching in my very flesh

all the pain and emptiness

that lies with in

that is going to leave a scar!

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And Jesus said, "Trust in God, trust also in me"

I am trying God!