Tuesday, July 31, 2012
W.H. Auden once wrote, "We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the present and let our illusions die."
Soon or later, as we walk down the path of life,
We hit a stumbling stone
I have stumbled more than my fair share.
a stumbling block is some event
that you simply can't deal with....
at least not with the resources you have available
not enough love
no tools for doing the job
such moments can freeze us,
cause us to shut down
or anguish us
bringing tears that we simply cannot deny
they can anger us
generating hate, or merely a violence in the soul
this week I have faced
I have lived in the shadow of death with people I love
I have seen fear and confusion in the presence of an illness
I have struggled with my own limitations
as a man
a person who is in leadership
a person who wants to be, but so often is not, what he wants to be
I have hard decisions to make
and fears about decisions already made
I am stumbling
and what I want most to do is fall
there in the dust of the road
I want to quit, and let the tears roll
but is suspect
that this falling
that all the losing, failing, fearing
are part of the process
they are part of the journey
it is when we are lead to the limits of our current game plan
our current resources
and find them to be
that we reach out and seek
that we become open to
the real source
the deep well
the constantly flowing stream
Help me to pick myself up
Out of the dust
Isa 35:5-7: Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
6 Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.
7 The burning sand will become a pool, the thirsty ground bubbling springs.