Finding Peace

It walked among the clouds today

The air was crisp,

The mountain nestled in its duvet of clouds

A few snowflakes dusted my coat

And Finn, the dog, was happy

So many sticks

So many smells

It was a time of peace

And yet my mind was not a peace

My heart was not calm

My soul was rended

every day I wake up to things that profoundly disturb me

I am tired of attacks on healthcare

Greed

An unbridled lust for power that will excuse any behavior

I am assaulted by the waves of hate that emanate

By white supremacists

And gunmen coldly killing from high places

I am tired of those who call good evil and evil good

I do not understand

The shaming of the poor

The neglect of the vulnerable

And so, I am not at peace

the other night a person, whom I value greatly

asked me, “Are you angry every day”

and my answer was “yes”

angry, and sad

And I do not quite know what to do with that

Is it OK to be angry

And when does the anger turn dangerous and destructive

I have chose to live according to the teachings of Jesus

Not the teachings of the white evangelical church, which I believe has lost its way

(or it could not embrace Trump, who is the anti-thesis of Jesus)

But the teachings of Jesus

What does that mean, in terms of how I respond to the things I see going on around me.

Jesus got angry, I think

He got angry at those who thought they owned God, and acted accordingly

He got angry, I suspect, at those who put money and power over people

But I believe that the anger of Jesus was qualitatively different from my own

Why?

Perhaps because Jesus’ anger was more fully in the context of love.

Perhaps because the anger was less about him, and more about those abused and broken

And more about the Sacred than the secular

A year ago I posted something by Thich Nhat Hanh.  That quote is relevant to my ponderings today.

“Someone asked me, “Aren’t you worried about the state of the world?” I allowed myself to breathe and then I said, “What is most important is not to allow your anxiety about what happens in the world to fill your heart. If your heart is filled with anxiety, you will get sick, and you will not be able to help.”

It is not OK, I think to ignore the state of the world

It is not OK not to be profoundly impacted when the person with the most power, belittles others

And acts like a bully

It is not OK not to care, when healthcare is taken away from the “least of these”

But, whatever response one has, must, if we take Thich Nhat Hanh, and Jesus, seriously, come out of a heart that is not dominated by anxiety, anger, hate, or fear.

It appears to me that the only solution there is

To the dilemma of how to live in a world that is going the wrong direction,

Is to fill one’s heart with the things that come from the Sacred

If one’s heart is full enough of love, hope, joy, peace, gratitude, generosity, acceptance, forgiveness, compassion, if it is full enough of Sacred, then there will be little room for hate, fear, anger, greed, and that all-consuming lust for power.

Which means

That as I walk in the snow, with happy dog bouncing around me

My mind should be stayed on

The snow flake falling, the dog dancing,

On the feel of the morning air, and the smell of the firs

And I should not be muttering to myself, about “many things”

It is not that I will not be angry

I was angry yesterday

I am angry today

And I will probably be angry tomorrow

But my hope is that my anger will be transformed

By Sacred Presence

And love

And that instead of becoming like that which I resist

Destructive, and small

Assaultive

Tearing others down

My anger will be transformed by grace

Into listening

And gentleness

So that I can overcome evil, not with evil

But with good