The offense of Grace

“The last shall be first and the first shall be last.” This is exactly, when it comes down to it, why most people do not believe in grace. It is fucking offensive.”
― Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint
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My New Year’s resolution this year is simple

And there is only one

This year I am going to believe in grace!

I am going to believe that God has turned myself
and everyone around me
into the beloved Children of God

just by speaking
(and God spoke, and the world began, and Christ was born, and I am God’s child)

I am going to believe in grace
that God loves me and accepts me
that God is present in me
that God’s Presence rubs off and is somehow mysteriously present through me
in this world

I am going to believe in grace
for that guy carrying a gun in McDonalds
for Donald Trump
for that person who shouts hate at a young Muslim girl
for that one who wants to refuse sanctuary for refugees and clamors for a wall
for that fearful one
that hateful one
That racist one
that 1%er greedy one

I am going to believe in grace
No matter how offensive that person is to me

I am going to believe in grace
Even though grace is offensive
(and believe me, it is offensive to believe in grace
for those who hate, and exclude, you hoard, and kill)

I am going to believe God values, loves all
That God is for all
That God seeks to redeems and restore all
and bless all
even those I can't stand

That God is not just my God
But their God too

believing in grace is costly
Grace calls me beyond myself
Beyond my capacity
To a place I would sometimes rather not be

But I am going to believe in grace
For if I cannot believe grace for them
I cannot truly believe grace for me
(at least not without really claiming privilege and merit, which is just silly)

So this year
I am going to believe in grace

And I am going to believe in what grace can do
In me
In you
In them

For grace is both the end
And the beginning

Happy New Year

love is

"This is all I have known for certain, that God is love. Even if I have been mistaken about this or that point, God is nevertheless love. If I have made a mistake it will be plain enough; so I repent – and God is love. Is love – not was love, nor will be love, oh no, even that future is too slow for me – God is love. Oh, how wonderful! Sometimes, perhaps, my repentance does not come at once, and so there is a future. But, God keeps no person waiting, for God is love. Like spring water which keeps the same temperature summer and winter – so is God’s love. A love that is a spring that never runs dry." ~ Søren Kierkegaard

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God is love

We are called to love

But what the heck does that mean?

What is love?

Is love a ‘feeling you feeling when you get a feeling you never felt before”?

Nope!

That’s hormones

Is love “never having to say you are sorry”?

Nope!

That’s just stupid

Some have said “love is a verb”

I suspect that is getting closer to the truth…

But still

We tend to think of love in terms of hearts,

Flowers

And chocolates

Candlelight dinner with a good glass of wine

We blend emotionality with acts that express our passion

And there we are

Love

But that is love as eros, romantic physical love

And we all know that while that is a part of love, it is not love

It specifically is not the totality of love that is God

If we want to know the love that is God (agape)

Then we can look first to the stable

To labor pains, an scratchy straw

To inconvenience

To (as Paul would put it) emptying, a giving up of privilege

We have to look to shepherds

And weird creepy strangers

And openness, risk, and vulnerability

If we want to know the love that is God we have to look to long trips on dusty roads

Mingling with the dregs of society

Conflict

And ultimately death

Love is not just passion

It is not just feelings of “love” and romantic gestures

It is not just doing nice things for people we like

For people who are like us

It is not all warmth and affection

Joy and peace

Love is seems is hard

Love is changing diapers

Praying over a sick child, while your heart is gripped with fear

It is staying awake, listening for the car to pull into the driveway

It is sitting by a hospital bed, holding the hand of one who is dying

It is cleaning up vomit

Is is being with another in their pain...

It is grief

It is forgiveness

It is reconciliation with one who has harmed you

It is saying yes when you don’t want to,

And saying no when you don’t want to.

It is giving

It is giving, sometimes, more than you can afford

Love is setting aside fear and welcoming the stranger

It is setting aside hate, and looking for the humanity in the person

whose lifestyle, creed, or color is different from your own

Love is vulnerability

Acceptance

Generosity

Kindness

Forgiveness

Inclusion

Love is difficult and uncomfortable

It is inconvenient

But love is what being a child of God is all about

And

Love is

all things break...

“Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.”

 L.R. Knost

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I am dismayed by the brokenness of the world

It makes my heart hurt

It makes my soul stagger

All the lies

The greed

The hate

All the children, shot, abused, and cage

All the gloating rich

All the struggling poor

I am dismayed too by children’ whose hearts don’t work right

And mothers who fear for them

I am crushed as I hear the stories of young women

Abused, diminished, profoundly wounded by

Mothers, fathers, brothers, step-fathers, significant others

It is all too much Lord

All this sin (for lack of a better word)

And then I remember a baby born

Into poverty

Into oppression

Into a world where babies died

And babies were killed

Into a world of haves and have nots

A world where the people of privilege

Oppressed and minimized those who struggled

I remember a baby

Born in the hay and the dust

Surrounded by losers

God’s statement

It is never over

All things can be mended

All people can be healed

But not with power

Not with wealth

That is the way of the Herods and the Trumps

The way of the Ryans and McConnells

And so many more (Democrat and Republican)

Nope!

This takes love

Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally given

Love was born at Christmas

Love was the flame that shone in the darkness

So it was

So it is

Only Jesus, when he comes

Is not born in a manger

He is born in the manure and grit of our own hearts

And when he is born

He changes everything

When the sacred wakes up

When our hearts wake up

Things get mended

That

That

Is the miracle of Christmas

come as a child

" When

I was a child,

I saw God,

saw angels;

I watched the mysteries

of the higher and lower worlds.

I thought

all men

saw the same.

At last

I realized

that they did not see. "

 Shams -e- Tabrizi

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The Sacred came as a child

When he/she decided to take on flesh

To come as a little one

All potential

All wonder

As one who saw through eyes that wondered

And saw the mystery

Embedded in creation

And in each precious soul

Is it no wonder that when we seek the mystery

We are asked to come as a child

Even if we are old and gray

Even if we have come a long hard way**

We are asked to turn to all that is Love

All that is Beauty

All that is

Entering into a state of intimacy

Allowing ourselves to be enfolded into being itself

Like a child is enfolded into its mother’s/father’s arms

And from that place

Look out at the world

With eyes of wonder

With eyes that sees mystery in everything

With a soul that finds joy in everything

With a heart that is open to everyone

With a mind, waiting to be formed by the holy

Let us become all potential

All wonder

Let us participate in the mystery of the child who came

As children who come

This day and every day

May we never “grow up”

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**Come as a little child, come with a smile of eagerness.

Greet each new day as a special gift of love,

Even if your old and gray, though you’ve come a long hard way.

Come ready to sing and play and dance, ready to risk and take a chance.

Come with an open mind, come through each door with humbleness.

Treat each new thought as a spark of Holy Light.

Even if you’re satisfied, proud and wise and dignified.

Come ready to open up your eyes – ready to learn and be surprised.

Come with a trusting heart, come face the world with innocence.

Meet everyone as a friend to know and love.

Even if you’re sick and tired, disillusioned, uninspired.

Come ready to follow and explore – ready to lift to your wings and soar.

For of such is the Kingdom, for of such is the Kingdom, come as a child

Avery and 

The day after the day after the day

“It might seem to you that living in the woods on a riverbank would remove you from the modern world. But not if the river is navigable, as ours is. On pretty weekends in the summer, this riverbank is the very verge of the modern world. It is a seat in the front row, you might say. On those weekends, the river is disquieted from morning to night by people resting from their work.

This resting involves traveling at great speed, first on the road and then on the river. The people are in an emergency to relax. They long for the peace and quiet of the great outdoors. Their eyes are hungry for the scenes of nature. They go very fast in their boats. They stir the river like a spoon in a cup of coffee. They play their radios loud enough to hear above the noise of their motors. They look neither left nor right. They don't slow down for - or maybe even see - an old man in a rowboat raising his lines...

I watch and I wonder and I think. I think of the old slavery, and of the way The Economy has now improved upon it. The new slavery has improved upon the old by giving the new slaves the illusion that they are free. The Economy does not take people's freedom by force, which would be against its principles, for it is very humane. It buys their freedom, pays for it, and then persuades its money back again with shoddy goods and the promise of freedom.”

                                                                        Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow

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happy dog roars through the house

prancing, rushing, whining

playing with his new ball

so much urgency

to be on his way

slipping along the road

roaring through the snow

nose down

in an orgy of smells and textures

rushing from one stick to another

ecstasy

one twisted piece of juniper barely tasted

before he is on to the next morsel

“I watch and I wonder and I think”

as I sit here on the 3rd day of Christmas

about the way we roar through life

we plunge into fall, scattering summer before us

as a the trees scatter their leaves

and barely breathing we roll through fall

from Halloween, to Thanksgiving

and into Advent

as season of waiting and reflection

which is sadly lost in the urgency

until some of us finally stagger exhausted into

Christmas Eve Services, where we take as desperate gasp of spirituality

And then return to the chaos of Christmas Day…

But now here we are

The day after the day after the day

And the days of Christmas stretch before us

Pleading with us

Stop

Breathe

Think

Take a moment to find yourself again

And place your feet firmly on the earth

Mountain pose

Stop Breathe Think

Of things mundane and things deep

Stretch wide your hands, your arms your heart

And let the faint rays of winter light

Creep into the crevices

And dark spots

And the lightness of the snow flakes

Life your souls

Stop, Breathe Think

Then journey on gently

Like the Magi

An epiphany awaits

On the Second Day of Christmas

CALVIN:

This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery?

If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it?

And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this?

HOBBES:

I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday?

CALVIN:

Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

― Bill Watterson

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OK God

We’ve done the whole Christmas thing

Well, actually, we’ve just started the Christmas thing

But still

We’ve been busy

And some of the season has been about You

More than we might think

For each family gathering

Each child returned home

Each “I love you”

Each gathering around a table

Each exchange of gifts

Were really about you

And yet on this second day of Christmas

So much remains the same

The rich still plot and plan

The Liar still lies

Games are played with people’s lives

Children die

Guns are given in celebration of the birth of the prince of peace

Blacks are still targeted

Seriously God

Would it be that hard to make liars accountable for their lies?

To bring down the arrogant

To spread out the wealth

To make the evil pay

Would it be that hard to give everyone healthcare?

To protect little children?

To give mothers strength

Why don’t you just show yourself,

And prove that you are love?

Why all the mystery?

This day of days

I could use a little certainty

Christmas Eve

on this eve of eve’s

when we feel love

and loneliness

when we feel

our failures

and our joys

at their most intense

on this eve of eve’s

we recognize something profound

that we live

in that place

always

always

where sacred

and human meet

on that boundary

between the ugly and the sublime

where all that is good and beautiful

collides with all

that is hateful and destructive

on this eve of eve’s

we feel the world tilt

on its axis

and know

in our deepest place

that love

wins

Sorry haters

Sorry those who would aid the rich and hurt the poor

your moments

your delusions

may carry the moment

but in the depth of eternity

love wins

____________________________

I salute you!

There is nothing I can give you that you have not;

But there is much that, while I cannot give you

Can take

No heaven can come to us unless our hearts  

Find rest in it today

Find heaven

No peace lies in the future

That is not hidden in this present instant

Take peace

The gloom of the world is but a shadow

Behind it, yet within our reach

Is joy

Take joy

And so at this Christmas time I greet you

And with the prayer that for you

Now and forever

The day breaks the

Shadows flee away

Fra Giovanni  (1513) 

How do we see God?

The bending of the mind by the powers of this world has twisted the gospel of grace into religious bondage and distorted the image of God into an eternal, small-minded bookkeeper.

                                                                                                Brennan Manning

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Christmas is coming

And in the theology of merit the baby who comes

Comes to die

To be killed by a god who is an “eternal small-minded bookkeeper”

It is not that the cross and the death are not important

But they are important in the context of Jesus’ whole life

If we believe that God is love

And that God, as the angels said, is “well pleased” with people

Those who carry the diving image

And if God came, to show us who God is

What God is like

Then the whole life of Jesus is important

The birth, into poverty is important

The attendants at the birth, the lost and lowly are important

The normalcy of his family, a carpenter and his wife, from a backwater town, is important

His ministry is important

His teachings are important

His acceptance of all

His compassion

His kindness

His wit

His forgiveness

His ability to heal and restore

All of that is important

His willingness to combat the forces of his day

The legalism

The hate

The greed and the lust for power, is important

His choice to face that hate and violence

With love and forgiveness, is important.

Jesus showed a totally new way of doing life

He showed that it is by giving we receive

That by entering pain, we find joy

That by ceding power we find a new kind of power

That by including and welcoming, rather than by excluding and judging, we honor God

He showed that love is stronger than hate

And that by dying, to self, to ego, to the need for power, to greed, to hate, we live

Yes the cross is important

It was the final act of selfless giving

But Jesus came

Not so much to satisfy a vengeful God

As to reveal a loving One

And to enable us, as Sacred Children

To be conduits of Sacred Love

Jesus came to awake our hearts to Sacred Presence

To activate our divine DNA

Jesus came to make us people

Who do life a different way

People whose lives

As Sister Margaret puts it,

“shout the gospel”

Welcome to Advent

full of grace

Do not fight to expel the darkness from the chamber of your soul

Open a tiny aperture for the light to enter

And the darkness will disappear

St Porphyrios

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I cannot tell you how often I have heard it

In ranch kitchens

In hospital rooms

Everywhere

Everywhere

“I only hope

  I only hope

“That I have lived a good enough life”

Good enough?

For what?

Regard?  Respect?  Worth? Love?

Good enough to be worthy of God’s love?

It seems we cannot escape that hideous belief

That we must earn our place with God

That we can earn our place with God

It is wrong on so many counts

This merit based theology

This dogged belief that drives us into such awful places

Those fearful

Driven

Judgmental

Protective places

It shuts down our hearts

And drives us to our minds

It drives us out of our minds

But the truth is this!

We do not need to earn God’s love, its given

A gift

It just is

For me, you, everyone

Yes!

That person over there who drinks too much

That person struggling with opioids

That person who was born Gay, or Lesbian, or Transgender

That person who lies, who is dishonest

That person who has made mistakes

That aged and fearful one

That young and arrogant one

God’s love is there

It may not always be accepted, or lived out

But it is there

And of course, the idea that we could ever measure up is

Well

Foolish

Not going to happen!

Oh there are moments

But there are also moments

(you know what I mean)

All we can do

All we need to do

It turn toward the light

Turn toward the One

Turn toward the One who Comes

And welcome

Embrace

Accept

Open

Say it how you will

All we need to do is let the mystery flow to us

Flow into us

(often through the cracks and fissures in our soul)

And chase out the darkness

Chase out those things, that make us

Fearful, and hateful

All we need to do is become

Grace full

And that perhaps, is the easiest, and most difficult task of all

look to your feet

I say that if you want to know who you are, if you are more than academically interested in that particular mystery, you could do a lot worse than look to your feet for an answer…Thus, when you wake up in the morning, called by God to be a self again, if you want to know who you are, watch your feet. Because where your feet take you, that is who you are.

Frederich Beuchner

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Children of God

That is who we are

Really!

We carry divine DNA

We carry the Sacred with us

Sure, we do it poorly sometimes

Perhaps most of the time

Yes, the image is blurred

There was that one life

In which the Sacred shown through with startling clarity

That one surprising, amazing life

Which started in a manger

Amidst the hay dust

And the fumes of manure

But for the most part we struggle

To be ourselves

And yet each day, we are called

And called, and called again

To be Sacred Children

To live love

To offer compassion

To be generous

To commit random acts of grace

Our feet should carry us

Into the places where light and love are needed

Into the dark places

The dirty places

Into the painful places

The lonely places

Our feet should take us to the poor

The isolated

The hungry

The homeless

And the fearful

Oh yes, we will go other places too

To places where we can be fed, and comforted

(for we have needs too)

To our jobs, our places of worship

Our homes

But even then

Our path should be determined 

By that call

And so each day

We should watch our feet

And let love and light guide them

Into the way of peace (Luke 1, Song of Zechariah)

The Song of Compassion

“Compassion constitutes a radical form of criticism, for it announces that the hurt is to be taken seriously, that the hurt is not to be accepted as normal and natural but is an abnormal and unacceptable condition for humanness.”

 Walter Brueggemann

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Perhaps it may be, a Yeats says,

Writing in the turmoil of 1919

Standing in the midst of the muddy and bloody horror of World War I

The looming specter of the Russian Revolution,

and the political turmoil in his own native Ireland.

Perhaps things are spinning aparty

As the world spins

“turning an turning in the widening gyre”

Perhaps indeed

“things fall apart, the centre cannot hold”  (Yeats, Second Coming)

We live in anxious times,

With the rupture of traditional family and societal structures (that’ not all bad)

the loss of collective religious faith,

and erosion of a collective sense of purpose

Perhaps, in the time of Trump,

when we sense that the old rules no longer apply

and there’s nothing to replace them

and all we have left are lies, and hate, greed and brutality

it is true

that “some rough beast… slouches to Bethlehem to be born”

and we are left, watching its ponderous progress

as hate flourishes

and racism explodes

as fear dominates

a cruelty increases

We are left watching as inequity and injustice grow

This is a time of looming darkness

This ADVENT

This time of waiting

And yet, we feel the call to resist the growing darkness

The imagery of Advent, the light shining in the darkness

Flickering, but hopefully

Ever growing

“But how!” we cry

And we stand perplex and vulnerable

O Sacred Children

We are not helpless

We have the power of the universe at our command

We have that which can transform

We have love

Not love as a vague romantic notion

But love as sacrifice and expenditure

And love is released first through compassion

It is sparked as we see and feel, the pain of others

As we participate in hunger, and fear

Rejection and exclusion

And then our souls offended, say “enough, no more”

“Compassion constitutes a radical form of criticism,

for it announces that the hurt is to be taken seriously,

that the hurt is not to be accepted as normal and natural

but is an abnormal and unacceptable condition for humanness.” (Walter Brueggemann)

How do we celebrate Advent?

How do we seek to prepare for the arrival

Not of the rough beast

But of the child

We shall sing the Sacred song of Hope

The song of compassion

In this strange land (Psalm 137)

A little bit of God

“Our human nature has been distorted, . . . I mean, we are actually quite remarkable creatures. In our religions I am created in the image of God. I am a God carrier. It’s fantastic. I have to be growing in godlikeness, in caring for the other. I know that each time I have acted compassionately, I have experienced a joy in me that I find in nothing else.”

                                                                                    Desmond Tutu

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It is comforting to believe

When we are tired, and fearful

When we are weak, and doubtful

God carries us

It is comforting to believe that when all seems lost

When evil seems to win

And the wicked flourish

God carries us

But we must also remember

That we carry God

We are the children of God

We carry Sacred DNA

We carry the Spirit, Sacred Presence

And the God we carry

Makes us a little bit like God

We have a little of God’s joy

A little of God’s compassion

A little of God’s insight

A little of God’s forgiveness

A little of God’ generosity

And all God asks

Is that we live out the divine likeness

It’s a good thing

A little bit of God

Goes a long way

feeling the love

Not

wanting

to seem impolite,

when the deer ran off she

raised her beautiful

white tail and

waved

Hafiz

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the moon

cloaked by comforting clouds

sleeps gently

gently crystalline

kisses

drift from heaven

then cling

like eager lovers to the

waiting branches

resting there like those beloved

in a lovers embrace

lightly

the deer tip toe

through the gathering white

then startled

dance into the night

as they wave “goodbye”

horses peer

with frost laden whiskers

across the fence

greeting me with eager expectation

and the local skunk

offers her gift

of vague perfume

as she shyly hides among the trees

and Finn the dog, not so shy

madly nose plows looking for

that favorite stick

whatever did I do

to deserve

such a gift

as this?

Ah Sacred

Today I feel the love

The Hope of God-With-Us

The Hope of God-With-Us does not come as guaranteed outcome,

or predetermined plan, or promise of a happy ending.

Hope cannot be imposed from on high.

Hope cannot be commanded.

The Hope of God-With-Us is courageous, risky, unfolding, indeterminate.

The Hope of God-With-Us is collective, liberating us from deadly complacency.

Hope is gestating in darkness; it comes unexpectedly.

Hope invites our expectation, and demands our participation.

Prepare the way, for hope with courage.

May Hope be birthed among, within, and through us, this Advent.

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel…

Rev. Anna Blaedel

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Advent

The Season of difficult Hope

For even though one has proclaimed the way

Even though one has shown the way

We are confused

And stumble in the dark

We are told God is with us

We are told to fear not

To have hope

We are told that God will make a road through the wilderness

But we cannot even find a pathway

Our lives are full of the indeterminate and the unexpected

It never seems to stop

Never

We are assailed from every side

Cancer

Another large expense

Words of hate

Harbingers of fear.

Greed, abuse, lies

To have hope seems illogical

Risky

Foolish

Perhaps it is better to say it is courageous

Faithful

Trusting

And hope is not received

It is lived

It is does not come down from on high, with angel wings

But emerges from the depths of our bowels

From the dirt and grime, the sweat and tears

It is lived out

Not only in the words we say,

“Prepare the Way of the Lord” (Luke et. al)

But in the lives we live,

“Let us abound in love” (I Thessalonians)

It is birthed each time we become aware

Of the advent of love in our lives

Of the Mystery that lurks in our souls

Of the love that in power incarnates

And ultimately determines who we are

In the face of it all

we wait, we wait

“Whatever it is you're seeking won't come in the form you're expecting.”

                                                             Haruki Murakami

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We made a valiant attempt at Thanksgiving

that time when we ate too much,

and perhaps, drank too much

and attempted, for at least one day

to fend off the dark wolves of despair

and remember

that there are things to be thankful for

(and there are)

Today in the lingering dark

I look out the window at an almost colorless day

Following the footprints of some lonely deer

which wandered aimlessly through fresh fallen snow

the scene is both compelling and repelling

the ambiguity of darkness muted by white

softeness and cold harshness blended

and I remember that we are entering

that odd and melancholy season of Advent

I know that in the public marketplace

the true “war on Christmas” shoots forth is volleys

of color and music

with Santa reigning supreme over malls filled with

music and color and imposed good cheer

but in the church it is Advent

a relatively somber time of quiet and thoughtful preparation

we are waiting for…. ?

Ah, that is the question!

What are we waiting for?

Faith says that what we are waiting for has already come!

In the person of that baby, born in poverty, thousands of years ago

We are told this baby changed, and changes everything

Swords into plowshares

Peace, Justice, Love, Joy

But here we are in a world that is full of strife

Bursting with anger and hate, fear, trepidation

And a lot of bone deep sadness

And so we wait

What are we waiting for?

What are we hoping for?

What would it look like if “it” got here?

So we wait,

For we know not what

Yet for something we know, we feel,

deep down at the center of who we are

is there

We wait for something to burst forth into being

We have expectations

But I suspect, that when it comes, it won’t look

Or perhaps even feel, the way we expected

It won’t come through Trump

It wouldn’t have come through any president

It does not come, I suspect, through wealth, or power

It comes, I believe, in unexpected, often unheralded ways)

(as it did the first time)

For all our waiting and preparing

It is in odd and poignant moments

That Sacred Presence advents in our lives

In those all too rare times when we quiet our fears and hates

And open up our hearts

And wake up to the Sacred

In all its surprising and unusual forms

And participate, at least for the moment

In the kingdom

Which has been inaugurated, but not yet fully realized

Just as nature replays, endlessly the seasons

Our soul too participates in an endless cycle

Of waiting, and fulfillment

Celebration and struggle

Success and failure

Returning again and again and again

To that time of reflection and preparation

And we wait

Knowing that somehow,

what we wait for,

all unfolds through us or not at all

through the Advent of The One

into the manger of our heart

Swords into plowshares

Peace, Justice, Love, Joy