Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

perhaps someday

“I should be happy, but instead I feel nothing. I feel a lot of nothing these days. I've cried a few times, but mostly I'm empty, as if whatever makes me feel and hurt and laugh and love has been surgically removed, leaving me hollowed out like a shell.”
 Jennifer Niven, All the Bright Places

I feel a lot of nothing these days

Its an odd feeling
To look at a sunrise, and not feel awe

To look at a child, and not feel wonder

I live such a blessed life
Great, meaningful jobs
People who seem to appreciate me
A fair amount of affluence
An amazing place in which to live

But often, there is hardly a flicker of joy

I live in a world that demands passion
People in power who are evil
War and death
Children starving
Refugees excluded and scorned

But often it seems as though I am oddly removed from it all

I remember when my parents died
Perhaps it started then
When I sealed off
And, because there was no minister present
Took on the role of comforting a community in grief
While setting aside my own

Perhaps it started when my marriage disintegrated
And I sealed myself off
And drifted into solitude
Distant from my wife
And, sadly, my children

Sometimes I wonder what it takes to become “woke”

I know it seems odd to some
As passionate as I can be
On paper

But there is this strange disengagement
That leaves me

I feel it
People feel it

And I am tired
So tired
That it is difficult
To get out of bed
To put on foot in front of the other
To find the spark of the divine within…

But the spark is there
The light does shine in the darkness
It may flicker
And at times it may seem to almost disappear….

But it is there
And perhaps

Some day
With better choices
And more sleep

Perhaps someday
The Sacred will ignite
And I will
And love
And truly live

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