Why?

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I have stood on the edge of a midnight canyon

And called out my question into silent shadows:  Why?

 

Why suffering?  Why pain?

Why the hurt that haunts our lives?

Why the wrong that overwhelms the good?

 

I get no answer, only an echo.

I will go on asking

Until the next generation of questions takes my place.

Suffering will not have the last word

Not without challenge.

 

We may not know the reason

But we will have the dignity of the question.

          Steve Charleston (Spirit Wheel, p. 26)

____________________________________

 

I am one of unsettled mind

And unsettled soul

And unsettled heart

 

I walk this world

As one who is not home

I am eternally homesick

I long for a place where I can rest

Where the pain will subside

And peace will flood my soul

 

Where I can sit with Julian

And say

“And all will be well”, “all manner of things shall be well”

 

Always there is that glimmer of hope

That heart knowledge that God is love

And God loves me

And that love permeates all

 

Always there is that whisper

That God will not abandon us, or this creation

And that resurrection, newness will always come

 

I remember that Sacred takes the very instruments of destruction

Serpents in the wilderness and cross

And transforms them, transfigures them

Into healing and life

 

Surely if Sacred can transform the cross

Even the foulest and most destructive of systems and people

Can be transformed

 

And out of the ashes of hate and fear

Authoritarianism and greed

Life can spring

 

But still, this world draws me away from such comfort

And my heart hurts

And my mind races

And faith falters

 

And thoughts come

And words too

That are not redemptive

Not kind

Not love

 

Ah Lord

In the middle of the questions

And in the uncertainty of a struggling world

Mute my fear

Calm my anger

Give me enough grace, at least enough

 

That I may be kind

That I may speak words of reconciliation

That I may challenge gently, with a soft front and a strong back

That I may ask the questions

And speak the truth as I see it

 

But never abandon love

Because Love will never abandon me