One Wild Hunger

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… it’s not such a wonder that when

we open the gate to all that is fierce

 

and fearful inside us,

when we hold our hands like begging bowls,

our hearts like candles,

 

the wolf within will want

to lay its soft head

upon our laps and we see

there is no more wolf and me

 

just one wild love,

one wild hunger.

          Christine Valter Paintner

_________________________________

 

our souls

(our deep inner self)

are full of hungry ghosts

and terrible wolves

and slouching foul beasts

 

and we for our part

shut down

part of who we are

that dreadful fearsome part

we dread

 

suppressing

denying

pretending

 

hoping we can keep the chaos contained

the fierceness tamed

 

and so we are fragmented

partial people

not whole

always a little bit paranoid

looking over our shoulders to make sure

that we have not broken loose

that the gates have not been breached

 

we move furtively through life

dodging, hiding

unsettled

 

But then, perhaps

hopefully

we find ourselves face to face

with ourselves

 

and if we dare welcome

audaciously embrace

those parts of us from which we have been alienated

 

we find ourselves becoming whole

healing

becoming

our created-to-be selves

 

we discover

hallelujah

that we are terrible and beautiful

fierce and soft

hopeful and fearful

good and not-so-good

all at the same time

 

But that this mixed up

confused

self

is one wonderful

slightly weird

wild child

 

but a child of God

and we no longer have to hide

ashamed