Return

Come. . .

Come, come, whoever you are.

Wanderer, worshipper, lover of leaving—it doesn't matter.

Ours is not a caravan of despair.

Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times.

Come, and come yet again, come, come.

—Rumi

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Come join the journey

We are all headed the same direction, toward death

We are all headed to the same destination, love

And all are welcome on this journey

Dancers and plodders

Those who wander

And those who march with purpose

Those who believe, and those who wonder

Those who embrace, and those who detatch

Come

Whoever you

Faithful and faithless

Come even though you have stumbled

Or fallen

Come even though you have turned back

Or wandered off

Come, if you think you know where you are going

Or if you don’t

Come, come

Keep coming

Come yet again

For love is waiting

love

“if your love is only a will to possess, its not love”

                              Thich Nhat Hanh

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I must have

That job,

That house

That care,

That power

That wealth

That woman, that man

I must have it

It just love it

Not

There is little love there

Want, perhaps

Need, maybe

But mostly lust

Mostly ego

Mostly self

A plundering, rapacious, greedy

Grasping sort of hunger

That merely takes, and devours

That merely destroys

And so there is nothing which remains

Nothing but stinking by products

Created by devouring

And it matters not what you call it

Or whether you guild it with gold

it is not love

not, in the end,

even love of self

Our prime purpose

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.

And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.”

                                            Dalai Lama XIV

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We are told it is all about the win

But of course

If someone wins, someone has to lose

If we are lucky

If our souls are healthy

We will get tired of all the winning

For we will see the cost

We will see the hurt caused by our need

To dominate

Our need to hug everything to ourselves

And keep ourselves

Oh so safe

And understand that we cannot only help ourselves

But must also give

We cannot merely win

But also lose

Not only be protective and closed

But also vulnerable and open

Being a person who serves others

Is often painful

And sometimes we give pieces of ourselves away

But we were created to help each other

Otherwise,

Why?

Encased in Certainty

“Where there is no longer any opportunity for doubt, there is no longer any opportunity for faith either.”

                             Paul Tournier

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Encased in certainty

he sits on his porch

arguments racing through his head

answers that would bear no rebuttal

thoughts that would bear no rebuke

certain about right and wrong

certain about God, and God’s will

certain about his blessed state

knowing, without a doubt that he holds the truth

and they are well and truly false

all those others

in an exile of his own making

he sits alone

and wonders why

he is so deserted

why, even though he tries so hard

God seems so inaccessible

ah the dilemma

of all the Pharisees of this world

standing on the heights,

watching

the joyful losers

frolicking in the dust

always there

I have come

to take you by my hand, ....

and bring you to myself

I have come

to shine your way

as you walk this path ....

I will make you guiltless,

I will make you fearless,

then I will place you in the

brightest point in the universe ....

I have come

like a breeze of spring

to your field of flowers,

so I can hold you by my side,

and embrace you tight ....

I have come

to shine your way

as you walk this path.

Like the cry of lovers,

I will help you reach the

roof of heavens ....

From the dust

of earth to a human being,

there are a thousand steps.

I have been with you through these steps,

I have held your hand ... and walked by your side ....

And I will be with you

as you move beyond this human form

and soar to the highest heavens. "

- Mewlana RUMI

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The Sacred comes into the world

To cleanse us

And love us

And to guide us along the way

When we lose our way

And we often do

We are gently reminded of Sacred love

Which wraps itself around us in the gentle wind

In the brightness of the son

It the brilliance of flowers

We are held in strong arms

And comforted and forgiven

Calmed until we are once again

Secure, and at peace.

Each step of the way, the Sacred is there

Always there

Through life

Through death

Always walking with us

To whatever is next

Always there

Keys to leadership

“The three jewels of Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility. Balthasar said compassion leads to courage, moderation leads to generosity, and humility leads to leadership.”

                             Christopher Moore, Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

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What does it take

to touch the world for love, for justice, for peace

A little moderation is nice

Not easy

But nice

Personally, but a bag of chips and front of me

A jar of peanuts

And it’s gone, just gone

Nothing left to share, should someone wander into my space

But I get it… if I don’t use it all up, there is something left to give

If I don’t have to hug everything to myself, there is an opportunity to share

If I don’t horde, generosity is a possibility

Courage!?

Do I have it?  Do you?

I suppose there are many kinds of courage

The courage to speak

The courage to be silent

Sometimes one has to just “say it”

But sometimes, it takes a lot of courage not to say the thing that would vindicate oneself

Or build oneself up

Because it is the kind, the right thing to do

Humility

Ah, humility

Not thinking of oneself more highly than one should

But not thinking of oneself less highly either

Overestimating one’s importance is damaging

As it is the need to build one’s ego up

The need to brag, and bluster, threaten, lie, and so much more

Often while tearing others down

Underestimating is as well, believing that every insult, every slight is about you.

Low self esteem may be another form of arrogance.  Think one should be more important

than one is (yes its complicated)

But this I believe

If we have moderation, courage and humility

We are in a place where we can truly lead

If we are a person of extremes, if we hide behind lies and

Live in a reality of our own making, because we can’t handle the truth,

If we are arrogant, or self-absorbed in any way?

We can’t lead

At least not consistently

Instead we drive, push, coerce, abuse

We could use a little leadership right now.

provoking greatness

“The words you use can destroy people's confidence or provoke their greatness.

  Use your words to add value.”

                                                           Sravani Saha Nakhro

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It does not matter

Who a person happens to be

President of the United States

A Senator

Or Congressman

A professor, or teacher

Doctor or counselor

It does not matter if a person works in the fields

or flips hamburgers for a living

each person has the power

to lift up or destroy

each of us have the wonderful, terrible ability

to use our words

to add value to another

or to tear them down

it is a power we must use carefully

some do not

and those with the biggest, and the paradoxically, most fragile egos

are those most likely to destroy

those who are at peace with themselves, and have no need to exalt themselves

are the most likely to help and heal

the choice is clear

we know the choice some have made

as for me

I would prefer

To provoke

greatness

Wandering toward the Kingdom

“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is 'Where am I going?' and the second is 'Who will go with me?' If you ever get these questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”

                                            Sam Keen, Fire in the Belly: On Being a Man

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Follow me Jesus said

walking through the deep dust of Galilee

we are headed to Jerusalem

we are wandering toward the kingdom

Who will go with me?

Who will go with me?

today’s leaders cry

give me you loyalty

and will take you far

how far?

Very far

So far. So fast. So easy!

Where?

It will be great

Ok they cry!

and follow down a path

littered with those wounded and left behind

where are we headed?

Just follow me

Questions are not allowed

And so

addicted to the journey

they march

leaving death in their wake

but they are addicted to what they seek

and so

the do not see

they do not care

and so

they march

On the other side

Quietness

Inside this new love, die.

Your way begins on the other side.

Become the sky.

Take an axe to the prison wall.

Escape.

Walk out like somebody suddenly born into color.

Do it now.

You’re covered with thick cloud.

Slide out the side.

Die,

and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign

that you’ve died.

Your old life was a frantic running

from silence.

The speechless full moon

comes out now.

                                           Rumi

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the rush of the day is over

all the voices

all the striving

all the wondering and worrying

all the measuring of self

the TV is off

and on the front porch

I sit

Listening to the silence

The thunder rumbles briefly

And the rain falls

And then

Once again silence

And all that I have carried falls away

The good, the bad, the ugly

All gone

And nothing remains

Except

What lies on the other side

Of this

death

Beyond the lunatic's sphere

Listen, this world is the lunatic’s sphere

Don’t always agree it is real

Even with my feet upon it

And the postman knowing my door

My address is somewhere else

                                           Hafiz

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It only takes a few moments

Every morning

Before I start thinking

The world is the lunatic’s sphere

By noon it is a sure thing

By sunset, it is time for despair

And yet

The sunrises golden, sending its rays racing through the trees

And there are people who act kindly toward others

And there are people who resist evil

And after the head of the day

The Sacred one cools the globe

And the sun exits

Gloriously

And then I know that as much as this is

The wonderful, amazing sphere

Full of lunatics

And me

It is not

All

There

Is

Angel fire

Each life starts with such promise

Then life happens

Each year starts with the promise of newness

Which so often eludes

Each day the sunrise

And sets the clouds and earth afire

And then we all too often

Slide into tortured busy-ness.

We become dull

Compressed

Oppressed

Yet angel fire rages

Spirit wind blows

and we are lifted from the dust

new again

we shine once more

love again

we rise

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“You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may tread me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame

I rise

Up from a past that's rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.”

― Maya Angelou

A Soul Problem

“There can be no keener revelation of a society's soul

than the way in which it treats its children.”

                                                                         Nelson Mandela

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I wonder about our soul

this place that has so much power

so many resources

so much wealth

and so much poverty

so many children who go hungry

and have no place to lay their head

whose schools are being gutted

and whose health care being cut

so that the rich can be richer

(it really is as simple as that)

I think there is darkness where there should be light

I think there is coldness, where there should be warmth

I think there are empty places, where there should be love

I think

We have a soul problem

It is not hopeless

For there is health there too

Among the many people

Who refuse to buy into the essential selfishness peddled by our leaders

Who refuse to buy into the amorality embraced by those in power

There are spots of light everywhere

May they find each other

And

Shine

beyond repair

“Who hurt you, once,

so far beyond repair

that you would meet each overture

with curling lip?

While we, who knew you well,

your friends, (the focus of your scorn)

could see your courage in the face of fear,

your wit, and thoughtfulness,

and will remember you

with something close to love.”

― Louise Penny, Bury Your Dead

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Sometimes

When we do not believe in ourselves

We all we can feel is our failings

Our deficits

When all we can remember is the hurt

The loss

The times when we were judged “not enough”

And love faded

Or perhaps sprinted for the door

There are people

Angels perhaps

Who see the best in us

And think of us

With

Love 

head and heart

“Do not let arrogance go to your head and despair to your heart; do not let compliments go to your head and criticisms to your heart; do not let success go to your head and failure to your heart.”

                                                           Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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Is there a choice to be made

Between the mind and the heart

Does the heart know, what the mind cannot see?

Can the head quiet the heart?

the two are bound

it is the way we are designed

what goes on in our head impacts our hearts

and our hearts, at times, can quiet and inform the mind

the first seems far easier than the second

for the mind does not know when to shut up

but rants about, everything

I am not too worried that arrogance, or compliments, or success

Will go to my head

I have had plenty of success,

My mind is not dominated by those things

I do not hear the compliments, and I cannot own my success

What seems to find a place in my head are the fears, and the pain of failure

And yet

My heart seems to know what my mind cannot comprehend

Sends the message daily

Through my soul

Pounding at the door of my mind

You are a Sacred child

You are Sacred

You are

You

Loveable

And

loved

Sick of the dark

“There comes a point where you no longer care if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel or not.

You’re just sick of the tunnel.”

                              Ranata Suzuki

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There are times it feels

As if the darkness is overcoming the light

We have colluders

And liars

People who are empty, and without compassion

Exercising power

Over those who need so much compassion

And so much care

Where in the midst of the greed

And hate

Where, in a country, a world,

Where money is valued over people

And wealth over generosity

Is the light?

God I wish it were Christmas

When the light came into the world

And beat back the darkness

We need a little Christmas

We need a little Jesus

A little love

A little hope

Now

For I am sick of the dark

Getting Older

“As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarrassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.”

                                                                                                      Dave Barry

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It’s a funny thing, aging

I mean really

What does it feel like to get “older”

There is a part of me that doesn’t know

That feels as young as I have every felt

But of course

There is the me that shows up in the mirror

Who is that old man?

With such white hair

Age spots

Wrinkles

A belly

And it is true

That this body cannot do what it used to do

And most mornings, it just hurts

I’m at the point where everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt

Doesn’t work

I still have energy

Until 2 pm

And I can still find enough energy, to do some tasks that needed doing.

But I can’t remember jack

And there are hundreds if not thousands of people out there, whose faces I recognize,

But whom I cannot give a name…

And so many names, that don’t have faces,

And I look back and know

I could not longer do what I once did

I could not build Wallowa Valley Center for Wellness, again

I will never be the dynamic pastor I was at Lake Grove

Things are now missing

It is not that I don’t have a sense of future

Its just that my future is…

Limited

And at times I look wistfully into the past

When so much more

Lay ahead

ego work

“In fact, the more each person can remove his or her ego from the discussion and focus on the subject matter, the more fruitful the conversation will be for all involved.”

                                            Matthew Kelly, The Seven Levels of Intimacy

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Perhaps our nation will never heal

Until we have leaders who can remove their egos from the discussion

And listen

More than listen, hear

Without the filter of “self”

And the greed, and need for power and affirmation that go along with “self”

Perhaps our nation will never heal

Until we all

All

Can remove our egos from the discussion

And listen

More than listen, hear

Without the filter of “self”

And the greed, and need for power and affirmation that go along with “self”

Perhaps I need to start

With

Me 

Trust Love

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

                                                                         Maya Angelou

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Sometimes it is hard to trust love

With those who do not love anyone

Perhaps not even themselves have the power

When love is given to things

To money

To ideologies

And not people

One tries to love

But those whose lives embody

Hate, anger, greed, selfishness

Act

Again and again and again

In ways that kill love

Every time we open Facebook

Read a paper

Watch the news

We see what happened with love of the Sacred

Love of others

Is missing

It is not pretty

And our own insistence to try and live love

Is challenged by injustice

By people legislating

Saying

Doing such ugly things

We know we must try to put things right

But how do we keep our trust in love

And resist, in love

It is difficult this task

Impossible perhaps

But it is our call

It is the only way

Love wins

weariness of life

The whole notion of pain, and how every individual experiences pain, is up for debate. We don't know how another person experiences pain - physical pain or psychic pain. Some of these clinics where assisted suicide or euthanasia is practiced, they call it 'weariness of life.'

                                                                        Miriam Toews

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What do we do with pain?

It is so complex

When present, so woven into the fabric of who we are

Physical pain morphs into

Emotional and spiritual pain

It is no longer my back,

My neck

It is my heart, my would

Dazed by pain one wonders who they are

What they have become

And the path ahead

Seems hardly worth the effort

Pain comes out of trauma

Physical yes

But equally so

Emotional, spiritual, sexual

We carry all kinds of pain in our bodies

And we become pain

We grow weary of life

To answer pain involves so much more than

Pills, or surgery

Pain is alleviated by walking

Meditating

Breathing

Eating (right)

It is a physical matter to be sure

But all pain is from the brain

One way or another

We must think rightly

Or suffer

Pain is pain

It does not have to become suffering

They sit in front of me

Their stories different but the same

Ah!  Sacred One

Touch these bodies, hearts, souls, minds

Touch this pain

Fall in love with love

“What did falling in love do for you? Can you ever really explain it? It filled empty spaces I never knew were empty. It cured a loneliness I never knew I had. It gave me joy. And freedom. I think that was the most amazing part. I suddenly felt both embraced and freed at the same time.”

                                                          Louise Penny, The Beautiful Mystery

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What does connecting with the Sacred do?

It fills spaces we never knew exists

I cured a loneliness we never knew we had

There a crevices and cracks in our souls

Places where life has eroded and torn

Dark wounded places

Which impact our lives in ways we do not understand

From these places come the anger we cannot explain

The distrust that seems to have no basis

From these places echo the voices

Telling us we are not enough

We are never enough

But when we fall in Love with Love

We are embraced by love

And free to “catch the joy as it flies” (Blake)

We cannot explain it adequately

Nor even describe it

We can only experience it

And share it