Grief

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Grief, the feeling of loss has 1,000 dimensions in this time of doom, grief for the simplicity of the old life before doom moved in.  Grief for the old normal when we assumed our economy was innocent, benevolent, and sustainable. Grief for the loss of our confidence in politicians, institutions, technology, or even democracy being able to protect us. Grief for the paradises paved up to put up parking lots. Grief for beautiful creatures becoming endangered, or extinct.  Grief for the loss of wild and green places. Grief for our children because of the unstable climate we’re leaving them. Grief for what we could have done but didn’t. And grief for all the beauty that will be desecrated between this point and the endpoint…  So much grief.

          Brian McLaren

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I wake up each morning and I grieve

It is like a bitter pill caught in my throat

A sad memory

Playing in an endless loop in my brain

 

It is an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach

And aching in my bones

 

It is a hole in my heart

A chasm in my soul

 

I wake each morning and I grieve

The disappointments

The mistakes

My own failures and sin

 

I wake each morning and I grieve

The loss of innocence, and comfort

The loss of joy

I grieve the easy, careless days of childhood

The time when I could honestly say

“I am proud to be an American”

 

I grieve the loss of dreams

Now buried in the hate and fear that surround me

And in the detritus of my own failure

 

I need my grief

It is a cry of the heart

It is a whisper of resistance

 

It is my unwillingness to accept the way things are

 

I wake each morning and I grieve

and lifting my eyes unto the hill

seek to live hope