Be yourself

“The mistake ninety-nine percent of humanity made, as far as Fats could see,

was being ashamed of what they were;

lying about it, trying to be somebody else.”

                                           J.K. Rowling, The Casual Vacancy

___________________________________________________

I think most of us have a moment,

now and again,

when we look in the mirror

and don’t like the person we see there

very much at all

at all

We have tried so hard

with work and accomplishments

to erase shame, hatred, cruelty, silence, ignorance, discrimination, low self-esteem or immorality.

But all we manage to do is cover it up,

with a thin veneer

that always at some point

rubs thin

and then, there we are

our worst flaw, showing through the thin skin

of our failed façade

we can only fool ourselves for so long

often for far less time than we can fool others

who see us for who we are

others often know our “story” our “narrative” better than we know it ourselves

Each day I have the honor of seeing people meet themselves

Some days, I have the privilege of meeting myself

Sometimes there is pain in these meetings

A sick feeling deep in the stomach

A tightness in the chest

At that moment there is only one hope

It is not found in denying, or seeking to run away from what we see

the only hope is to become ever more aware of our whole self

the bad, yes

but also the good, for there is always good (or so I believe)

and then with compassion for others, and self

forgiveness, for others, and self

begin with sacred help

to change our story

we cannot change the past

but we can change the future

and we can live

with a dignity

that lead us forward

nothing will ever erase the past

be we can move

every closer to that clear, bright, place