Stupid Things

“When we struggle to change ourselves we, in fact, only continue the patterns of self-judgement and aggression. We keep the war against ourselves alive.”

               Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life

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I do enough stupid things in a day

To last a life time

Some of my errors are massive

I get tired

Depleted

Empty

And then I act, talk, behave stupidly

Sometimes hurting myself

Sometimes hurting others

And when I screw up

I am the master of self condemnation

I make an art of it

Truly

But here is the thing

Most of my stupidity emerges out of a sense of deficit

Of “not being enough”

And with this as a back drop I act in ways I hope

Will make me look bigger, or bring me relief

But which make me small, and make things worse

And I only become smaller

And more in need

I lose

And sadly I usually don’t become better

I just get entrench in further attempts to compensate

For my deficit

Sometimes you just have to let go

Sometimes we just need to step away from the brain.

And end the war against ourselves