Lament to hope

"Someone asked me,” Hanh writes,“ aren’t you worried about the state of the world?” I allowed myself to breathe and then I said, “What is most important is not to allow your anxiety about what happens in the world to fill your heart. If your heart is filled with anxiety, you will get sick, and you will not be able to help.”

__________________________

 

this morning I lingered

I simply did not want to get out of bed

and enter this day

 

yesterday was not that great

nor was the day before

 

and I am tired

tired of the lies

tired of the stupid games

tired of the manipulations

tired of Covid

tired of the hate that oozes

tired of the acceptance of the unacceptable

tired of the hate, and fear, and racism

 

tired of the human nightmare we have created

(no I am not depressed but thank you for your concern)

 

and my heart is heavy

filled with pebbles of sadness

pebbles of despair

 

I know too well what humans can do with the divine dream

how we can turn the heavenly kingdom into a dystopian nightmare

 

I know how far people in high places

who love power

and love money

will go

 

I know what they are willing to do to other human’s

for their own benefit

 

and so I am weighed down

 

and I know too that God

hands us over to ourselves

and will let us literally reduce our lives

our countries

our world to rubble

 

but I know too what God can do

with the rubble

I know God is love

 

and I know that God brings life out of death

hope out of despair

love out of hate

 

and I remember the words of Isaiah (25)

who after piling words of doom on words of doom

wrote

 

“And God will swallow up on this mountain the covering that is cast over all peoples,

    the veil that is spread over all nations.

God will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,

    and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,

    for the Lord has spoken”

 

and so I reject

the sickness unto death

that is despair

 

and I breathe in

and I breathe out

and with each breathe I whisper

“Yahweh”

 

and God who is fire and wind

who is as near as my breath

renews my heart

 

and I am lifted up

resurrected

reborn

 

each day is a little Easter

a moment when I affirm

 

that while God may not smite the evil ones

and while the rain may fall on the just and the unjust

and while the world may crumble around me

 

God is here

and God will stay here

and walk with me through this valley

 

and I do not need to fear evil

 

I breathe in

and I breath out

and I walk with Love into this day

 

seeking to be a resurrection person

and striving to pass that Love

so amazing so divine (thanks Isaac Watts)

 

on

to all I meet