carry on

So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day.

                     2 Corinthians 4:16

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we carry this pain with us

this pain that comes from bodies aging

this pain that comes from illness

this pain that comes from injury

 

we carry this pain with us

this pain that comes from injustice

from greed and the machinations of the power

 

we carry this pain with as

as words of hate and fear and bigotry

flow into our heads and hearts

 

as we watch and listen

to people who have closed their minds and hearts

accept lies as truth

and call evil good, and good evil

 

we carry this pain with us

as we watch another black son, father, brother, husband friend

gunned down

as we watch people choose guns over children

blindly stumbling down the way of domination and intimidation

as if is the way

 

we carry the pain of knowing that perhaps our pain

is nothing compared to the pain of others

systematically oppressed

systematically minimized

systematically controlled and intimidate

 

knowing that no matter how much pain

may reside in our own body

our own heart

 

there are those whose pain is beyond

our understanding

 

I cannot understand the pain of a black mother

the pain of a woman assaulted or minimized

the pain of the poor, the disenfranchised

 

we try so hard to deal with the pain

we medicate

we legislate

we manipulate

 

and yet the pain remains

woven into our bones

and into the fabric of our heart

 

on this morning

as I carry my own pain

as my body hurts when I move

and hurts when I don’t move

 

as my heart hurts

from the hate and fear

from the racism I see

 

as my mind aches

assaulted by those who would justify that which cannot be justified

by the worship of guns

by the overwhelming power of toxic individuality

by this world

this mess

 

I know that only the Flame of the Spirit

only the Divine Wind

can renew me

 

I need the inner fire

to scorch me

the inner wind

to move me

 

the world around me will always be painful

(until the Kingdom comes)

the pain will always be present

 

I will always carry it

it is unavoidable

it is the human experience

 

but I can be renewed

day by day

dying to be born

giving to receive

hoping against hope

 

walking with pain

but walking with hope

carrying not just pain

but carrying too a Love that will not let me go