search me

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my thoughts.

See if there is any wicked way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

                     Psalm 139

________________________________________

 

there is no escaping it

Sacred is not up there, out there

what we call God is not some sort of anthropomorphic being

who is fixed in one place at one time

 

is not One who “lives” in heaven

 

no, that Power, that Love, that Voice

that we try so hard to define in so many ways

Father

Mother

Song

Spirit

Trinity

 

Aaack!!

 

is all around us

it is everywhere we go

but more, it is in us

 

which is why the Psalmist cries

“Where can I go from your spirit?

Or where can I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.

If I take the wings of the morning and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,

even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me fast. (vv 7-10)

 

that is scary and comforting at one and the same time

it is scary to be that close, to be known that well

it is comforting to be so filled and embraced by Love

 

sometimes I wonder how it is for the Beloved to watch

what goes on inside our hearts and heads

 

what is it like for love to exist next to so much hate (I cannot use a softer word)

what is like for compassion to live next to such anger

for forgiveness to live next to such resentment

for generosity to live next to such greed

and for humility to live next to such pride?

 

what is it like for Sacred Presence to look out through out

eyes, and see what love sees

while understanding what we see (which may not be the same thing at all, at all)

 

what is it like for Sacred when they see

who flows out of our fingers as we post an comment on Facebook or Twitter?

 

I cannot help but return after such musings

to the closing plea of the Psalmist

who I suspect, in his/her own way, must have had similar thoughts

 

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

    test me and know my thoughts.

See if there is any wicked way in me,

    and lead me in the way everlasting.

 

O power that created and sustains the universe

O power that is love

O Sacred Presence, Spirit, Child, Parent

that fills me and defines me

 

be in my thinking

be in my feeling

be in my seeing

 

be in me so completely

that you own my heart

transform my thoughts

and guide my actions

 

help me so that today

my life reflects the presence of Love