At the Crossroads

Thou who dwells at the crossroads

bless the choices gone before

the roads not taken

the thresholds not crossed

the lives not lived

 

on the terrain that we have chosen

may we travel lightly

shed of regrets

and shorn of illusions

of other landscapes

that we reckoned

and did not choose to cross

                     Jan Richardson, p. 119, In Wisdom’s Path

________________________________

 

life is full of choices

small choices

about breakfast and shirts

 

larger choices

about tasks to be done

and left undone

 

and those large heavy and choices

about careers

and relationships

 

about behaviors good and bad

that carry with them

consequences weighty

 

at times one cannot help but ponder

about choices made

decisions that changed the course of a lifetime

 

and one cannot help but wonder

what if

what if I had not made that choice

done that deed

gone that direction

 

what would my life have been like?

who would I have been?

 

Some of the most impactful choices I have made

Have been the one’s made in the heat of the moment

when my spontaneous and undisciplined soul

has veered right, or left

 

when I have jumped with both feet

into the swamp

when for the worse of reasons

I have chosen poorly, and seen my life unravel

 

there have been those larger choices too

the choice of a career

where I chose theology over English

the choices about who to marry

and which job to take

 

and yes

I wonder how my life had been different

If I had not jumped into that swamp

or if I had turned right instead of left

 

but there is one thing that I do know

even as I have tried to make the next “right” choice

even as I have both succeeded and failed

one thing has remained constant

 

grace

 

while it is clear that because of my choices

certain doors were closed

it is also clear that in spite of my choices

door continued to open

 

even though at moments if felt as if there were

no way forward

as if I were trapped

and there was no exit

 

there was always a way forward

always an exit

 

always a something new

 

would those other lives

I once imagined have been better?

richer?

deeper?

 

perhaps

 

but I walk the path I have chosen

and love walks with me

 

and while I can learn from the past

and learn from choices made and unmade

in the end

the road goes on forever

into a future ever shaped by love and redemption

into eternity

 

so may I travel lightly

with few regrets, without false illusions

about what might have been

may I travel lightly

rejoicing in what is, and kissing the joy

as if flies! (Blake)

 

for God is doing a new thing

always

can we not see it?