Birthdays and family gatherings are a time to remember
a time to wander back through the crumbling neuropathways
of one’s brain
to times past
this past week I turned 70, and was joined in my
rememberings
by sister who
truth be told,
are more aged than I
(although not by much)
so there we sat
ages 70, 74, and 77
remembering
hot summer days in Lake County, Oregon
4H horse club
treks through the sage and juniper
6am practices for the swim team
remembering our parents
our diminutive but powerful mother
who served with joy
our tall, lanky father
a physician and a true healer
remembering what it was like to grow up
in that small town full of
timber people and ranch people
first generation Irish, Armenians, and more.
remembering growing up with the same faces
the same names
first grade through high school
remembering how safe it all felt
that small town where people took care of each other
our small family
where mother and father create a free and friendly space
where we were able to grow up
and unfold
and become unique individuals
without fear of whether we would be loved or not
mistreated or not
abandoned or not
in thinking about this I am aware of how my understanding
of
whatever it is that is underneath, in, and over creation
has been shaped by my experience
in that small town,
which supported and cared
and by my kind and loving parents
for me the Kingdom of God is like
a village in the high desert
where everyone knows your name
where you are accepted
and cared for and cheered for
and that reality we endow
so often
with the inadequate image of father or mother
is shaped by those loving
grace full people who were my parents
for me the Sacred is
warm, nurturing, supportive, and safe
reliable
loving
I do not have to cower
be afraid
wonder
I know all too well
that not all see or experience Sacred this way
that for some
the power that is under, in and over all
is not safe
not predictable
not nurturing
it is instead
demanding, harsh, and punitive
authoritarian
and it is sad to see them
abused children of harsh parents
becoming harsh in their own way
abused children of a harsh God
creating their own forms of abuse
seeking to dominate
control
and coerce
rather than welcome, and love, and support
here is to good parents
human and divine
here is to allow love to overcome
the ways in which we were and are wounded
here is to love
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