Deficit thinking

Presbyterian Bloggers

Powered By Ringsurf

Therefore, I have cheerfully made up my mind to be proud of my weaknesses, because they mean a deeper experience of the power of Christ. I can even enjoy weaknesses, suffering, privations, persecutions and difficulties for Christ’s sake. For my very weakness makes me strong in him.

                     I Corinthians 12:9,10 (JB Phillips)

 

The experience of powerlessness is where we must all begin

                     Richard Rohr  (Daily Meditations 9/27/2022

______________________________

 

Strength

Dominance

Power

Wealth!

 

We love it!

It is as American as apple pie

Or lunatic fringe politicians

 

It is so very human

 

Alas, we human creatures

We have gotten it so very wrong

 

We think somehow it is bad to fail

That pain and struggle are bad things

We equate power and success with blessing

And weakness and failure with sin

 

What do we then do

With the cross?

 

I grew up with at least a stainless steel spoon in my mouth

I was moderately gifted with intelligence

A functioning body

And a fair degree of comeliness

 

Affluence and comfort marked my life

And things were for the most part, easy

 

And then I screw up

I allowed anxiety and other human quirks

To push me into patterns that hurt me and others

 

I failed

Miserably

 

And that is when I started to understand

Grace

Forgiveness

Love

And yes, God

And yes, the cross

 

My facades ripped away

my power eroded

I learned humility

And dependence

 

I learned how to accept love (and help)

And how to give it (at least better than before)

 

Perhaps the word I am looking for here is

Surrender

I had to surrender to grace

Surrender to love

I had to let go of power and prestige

And my need to be powerful and rich and “big”

 

Would I still love to be “relevant”

Yes

To have people admire me?

Yes

To have enough money to play?

Yes

 

But it has been my moments of despair

My moments of abject failure

My times when I looked in the mirror

And realized I needed help

That have made me a deeper

Better

Kinder

More generous person

 

I am sorry for those people

Who must have power, must have the limelight

Must have their 3 seconds of fame

Who have not learned that lesson (we know who they are)

 

I am sorry because they will always be haunted

Always be striving

Always be defensive and angry and insecure

Pushing themselves in front of the cameras

Promoting themselves

 

And always always, always, finding themselves

Deficit

 

And that is no way to live