Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity
or registering wrongs.
Charlotte
Bronte, Jane Eyre
Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for
the rat to die.
Anne Lamott
Nursing a grudge only perpetuates the offender’s power over
you. He continues to live in your head, reinforcing your frustration, polluting
your imagination with thoughts of getting even. Don’t let him get away with
that. He may or may not deserve forgiveness, but you deserve better than to waste
your energy being angry at him. Letting go is the best revenge. Forgiveness is
the identifying marker of the stronger party to the dispute. It is truly a
favor you do yourself, not an undeserved gesture to the person who hurt you. Be
kind to yourself and forgive.”
Harold S. Kushner, Nine
Essential Things I've Learned About Life
___________________________
It is that day
that day when we remember
the planes plowing into the towers
the destruction, chaos, and death
Especially death
We remember those who died
Too painfully
Too early
We cherish their lives and lament their lost
As we should
Moments like this are for learning
as they rip open our souls and our hearts
and challenge our minds
What can we learn about those who perpetrated such violence?
What can we learn about ourselves, and our contribution to this
event?
What too can we learn from our response to this event?
What do we do when we return to this day?
It hit me hard, this day
As I watched the event on TV monitors in an airport
Preparing to board a plane to Washington DC (and then on to
Azerbaijan)
A plane that never left
It made me angry
Pain tore through my heart as I thought of the people on those
planes
And in those buildings
And thought of all the people who lost someone they loved.
And yes, there was hate, and fear too
I was forced to walk through the dark valley of death
My heart broken open, my mind in chaos, my soul aching
And Love led me
To a place where I could sit and look into still waters
And think, and feel
And see myself reflected back
I was changed
And emerged my heart bigger
Filled with compassion for those who were lost
But filled with lament too
For what we had done to help cause this
And even more lament for how we responded
For the damage we inflicted
I kept thinking about the cross, and the disciples
That was their moment of terror
When awful people brutally killed someone they loved
I am sure they were not just sad
But that they held in their hearts
A deep hate for those perpetrators
Those men who had driven those nails
And lift that cross into place
Who had mocked and pierced
I kept thinking about the cross
And the fact that the disciples did not keep returning there
They did not hang on to the cross in a negative way
They moved on
To the garden
They connected with a risen Lord
Who had already forgiven
And they (I think) forgave
The disciples were made better by the cross
Not worse
They were made more loving
More giving
More forgiving
More inclusive
They welcomed those very people
Them
Those Romans
Into the circle of love
I would like to think 9/11 made us better
But I wonder
As I see us nurture enmity
And see others as threatens
And listen to some demonize immigrants
As I watch us populate the world with military bases
And spend obscene amounts on the implements of war
And as is see us, every year, rip the scab off the deep wound
That was so terrible
Feeling the pain, but not learning or remembering the lessons
The early church transformed the cross
Into something that brought healing and hope
There is something to be learned there
On this day
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