Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning

Thursday, April 5, 2018

who do you need to forgive

"Now here's a good one:
You're lying on your deathbed.
You have one hour to live.
Who is it, exactly, you have needed
all these years to forgive?"
              Fictional Poet Ruth Zardo (via Louise Penny)

Where does forgiveness come from,
When we are in the corner
With no place to go?

When we have reach the end

And know, just know
That we cannot take another step
With all that weight
Bearing down on us

The burden of anger and resentment
The fury of victimhood

how do we let go
how do we sort through all the garbage
dive into the dumpster of our soul
and find that one person
we need to

there are so many options
the person who ridiculed you as a child
or bullied you
the parent who neglected or abused

the one who lied
or used
or abandoned
or cheated

where to start
And once started
How to proceed

I’ve thought long and hard about who, on my death bed
I would forgive.

For me it is quite simply
It would not be my father, for whom I was never
(or so it seemed) quite enough
Or my mother who struggled to show affection

It would not be the boys who threatened to beat me
(the privileged doctors son) up

It would not be all those who over the years
Did not help me enter the circle of friendship
(perhaps it was my own fault)

I suspect that the person I most need to forgive is myself
for not meeting expectations
for not being more loving
more giving
more selfless

but how do I do this?
for I have carried this judgment for lifetime

perhaps it is not that difficult
perhaps it is simply a matter of hearing
at the center of who I am
the words echo

Child of God
Child of God

Perhaps it simply a matter of hearing
“you are my beloved son”

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