a work in progress

I am often a mess

often needy and grasping for acceptance and affection

often a "fixer"

often too busy to notice

I can be cold

I can be closed

I can be grasping

I can make myself a pest

I can end up in

Paradox hell

Trapped by conflicting priorities

Desires

Loves

All I really want to be connected with something bigger than myself

All I want is to be connected to others

To help others

And yes, to be helped by them

I want peace

I want joy

I want to wake up wanting to dance

I want to feel valued,

I want to feel loved

Forget big houses

Nice cars

And all the rest

I want to sit on a deck, watching the sunset

Holding hands with someone who is as passionate about me

As I am about them

How do I get there

Letting go would help, of expectations, rules, fears, hates

Being present would help too…. Being there for others

Offering not sympathy, which is often shallow and cheap

But empathy

Embracing their joy, embracing their pain

And yet I am often a mess

Often lonely

Often a pain

I guess all I can say is that I am a work in progress

And so my prayer for this day

On these late summer, early fall evening is….

A little love

A little wisdom

A little patience

A lot of openness

With a side of hope

please