Choices

“The measure of intelligence is the ability to change.”

                              Albert Einstein

___________________________

I admit it

I can be inflexible

Rigid

Perhaps the right word is stuck

I get stuck in my opinion

Stuck in old patterns

Stuck in behaviors

I suffer all too often from psychological inflexibility

I am not present in the moment

It’s all about the past

It’s all about the future

Its all about me

Not the me that really is

But the me that I create through my thoughts, feeling, experiences, memories

All my self-definitions and judgments

From this place of self-absorption

And preoccupation

I find my head filled with thoughts and feelings

That don’t work

The stop me

Freeze me

They make me immobile, unable to act

They stop me from being who I want to be

But I’ll be damned if I’ll un-fuse

Not way, will I let go, become open

No way will I listen

Move to another perspective

Nope

I’ve created my story, and I’m sticking to it

I’ve developed my self-image, and I’ve made it who I am

I’ve got my mental scripts set

My ideology fixed

I am one stuck dude

I have company of course

All those people who love Trump

All those who worship Bernie

Right wing evangelicals

Left wing snowflakes

And most of us in between, who regular find ourselves

Unable to move toward the things we most desire

Yep.

Stuck

Stuck

Stuck

And inflexible

But when it comes to psychological health

Flexibility is the game

When we are flexible it is not all about the past

Nor all about the future

Is about this moment

And it is about the “me” experiencing this moment

But that “me” has to stand a little apart

from the place of self-absorption

And preoccupation

It has to step away from those thoughts and feelings

A little apart from those mental scripts that

Stop me and freeze

“I can’t do this”

“I am not good enough”

“It is hopeless”

My head screams

But is just my brain (a bully) telling me stuff

So I have to say, “My brain is telling me I can’t do this, it is time to step away from the brain”

And let the thoughts, and fears, and scripts go…

De-fuse

And then, remember who I want to be

And what I want to do

And who I want to be close to

And then, I have to act

I have to choose

In the presence of fear, of pain

In the echo chamber of my disappointments and errors

In the face of my ideology

Then I have to choose to move toward

Whatever, whomever is important to me

What thoughts keep me stuck?

What behaviors, move me the wrong direction/

Can I notice when I move away from kindness

From inclusion

From openness

Into defensiveness, isolation and rigidity?

And can I choose to listen to my better angels?

That is the question for this, and every day