Wednesday, September 26, 2018
The practice of curating parts of oneself is something many of us do to some degree. We carefully create a persona, but it's always only one that's partially true. And maintaining this created personality, this assembled self, can be pretty exhausting.
I often think that the effort we put into pretending is based in a fear of really being known, of truly being seen as we actually are. I mean, perhaps we each have a wound or a vulnerable place that we have to protect in order to survive, and yet sometimes we overcompensate so much for the things we're trying to hide, that no one ever suspects the truth. And then we're left in the aloneness of never really being known.
In the end, the only real love in the world is found when you let yourself be truly known. And faith, to me, isn't about belief, it's about the fact that I am most known and most loved by God, the one who created me to begin with.
It’s exhausting being me
Or at least being the “me” that I want you to see
Yep, its true
I am not all that sure I want you to know who I really am
This particular soul has closets, lots of them
Full of stuff I’d rather not have known
Pits of anger
And so I hide, a lot
I put up barriers and lurk behind them
Hoping no one will see
No one will know
And in the end I am alone
Or at least lonely
Cut off from connection by my own effort
By that persona I have so carefully craft
Sucks doesn’t it?
There is of course one know knows me as I am
And One who loves me (or so I’m told) anyway
There is One who would set me free
By loving me enough that I would dare to be open
Dare to be honest
Dare to be real
All it takes
To change everything
Is a little faith