Primitive religion is not believed, it is danced!

Arthur Darby Nock

Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God;
And only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

Elizabeth Browning

Saturday, October 20, 2018

loved back to life

“It happens to all of us," I concluded that Easter Sunday morning. "God simply keeps reaching down into the dirt of humanity and resurrecting us from the graves we dig for ourselves through our violence, our lies, our selfishness, our arrogance, and our addictions. And God keeps loving us back to life over and over.”
 Nadia Bolz-Weber, Pastrix

it has been a long road
and now that I am no longer young

and perhaps not truly old

I pause, as one pauses before that final climb
to the top of the hill

clarity, that final clarity that only death will bring
is over the hill
and for now

is am merely on the way
a long path behind me,
a much shorter one ahead

and in the stillness
I ruminate

I chew methodically on
the stuff that comes up
good, bad, and indifferent

there are memories that bring joy
and those that bring pain
memories of proud moments
and memories of abject shame

it has not been smooth
this path
there have been far too many moments when I have been over my head
in the ooze and slime and old decay (CS Lewis) of failure

ah yes, there were times when I broke free
and for brief bright moments felt good about myself
and what I was doing

but so many times
when I wondered if I could keep putting
one foot in front of the other

and I have been no stranger to death
the death of hope
the death of dreams
the death of a career, and then another
the death of a marriage, the death of joy

Oh yes, I have done much of it to myself
Although sometimes, life just happens

but for each death
there has been a resurrection
for each ending, there has been a beginning

it seems that God cannot leave well enough alone
(thank God)
and keeps “loving me back to life”
again, and again, and again

if I am “average” I will live another 11 years
what will that “final climb” bring?
what will I do between now and that final then?

How many more holes will I dig for myself?
How many more times will I get lost in the swamp?
What lies along the path?
Pain, joy, love?

I do not know
but this I know

God will keep reaching down into the mess that is this world
and God will keep reaching down into the mess that is my life
and God will keep nudging, and guiding, hinting and helping.
God will keep picking me when I fall down
And if necessary, keep resurrecting me, when I am buried in the rubble of my own making

And this I know
When I hit the top of that hill
And look over to the other side

God will be there again, with one last resurrection, and one last surprise


‘when the evening gently closes in, and you close your weary eyes
I’ll be there as I have always been, with just one more surprise”
                                                            Contemporary Hymn

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