God shouts in our pains

Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

 C.S. Lewis

_____________________________________________________________________

I suppose in a way

Pain is my friend

Pain tells me when I have done too much

And reminds me when I have done to little

Pain screeches “Stop it!!” right now,

When I am doing things that hurt me

When I eat poorly

Love poorly

serve poorly

“Cut the BS, tell the truth”

“Stopping eating that crap, its killing you”

“Don’t work so hard”

Of course pain also tells me to act

To do something different

“Take your hand off that stove!”

“Start walking!”

“Try listening once in a while!’

The thing about pain is that it is strident

Demanding

It will not leave us alone

In those times when things are good we can easily

Settle into apathy

We can get careless

When we are not in pain we can easily

Let things “slide”

The imperative is just not there

And so we compromise and settle

To be honest I am tired of the pain

I am tired of a neck that aches

A back that hurts

And a knee that hates me

I am tired of a head that will not quite

That monkey brain of mine

That will not let me rest

But chatters away

Pushing

Accusing

Condemning

But mostly I am tire of the pain that oozes

From every pore of my community

my nation

my planet

I see the pain of those without healthcare

Of those caught in addiction

Or afflicted with mental illness

I see the pain of those fighting cancer

Alzheimer’s

Hopelessness

I see the pain of the families on the border

The pain of black families who have lost a child unjustly

I see the pain of parents as they send their children off to school

And the deeper pain when some of those children do not return

I see the pain of people born LGBTQI

As they are driven from their families

And excluded from the church

I see the pain of women

Relegated to being “host bodies”

The pain of an 11 year old forced to carry the child of a rapist

While he own life dies

And the pain of a mother forced to share custody

With the rapist who father her child

Simply because too many law makers (most of them GOP)

Mistake pro-birth for pro-life

And see women as objects to be minimized and used.

And at times that pain rages within

Making me want to shut down

Escape

Numb

At times it makes me reclusive

At times irritable

At times it makes we want to drink

At times it drives me into bed, early

And at times it spurs me to action

It impels me to speak out

To write blogs

Preach the Gospel

If pushes me to visit those who are sad

And alone

And aging

Those fearful and grieving

To give to good causes

I moves me to kindness

And acceptance

And generosity

God does shout in my pain.

Thanks be to God