You can rise

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.”

 Maya Angelou

_________________________

These days it doesn’t take much to push me to brink of defeat

A parishioner responding badly to what felt like an innocent post

A bad review from a person rating your workshop

Another day of lies from politicians

Another walk with my monkey brain saying

“you suck”

I remember a time when I felt I was effective

Witty

Smart

Articulate

Handsome

Powerful

Persuasive

Helpful

Even sexy

But now?

If feels as if I live on the edge of incompetence

As if I am not longer

Witty

Smart articulate

Handsome

Powerful

Persuasive

Helpful

Or sexy

I just feel space

I have roles I probably should hand over to others

I remember a couple years ago when my board

Confirmed my worst fears

“You suck” they said

“You are gone”

And so I was

Replaced by people with more energy

More smarts

More charisma

More attention to detail

And now, too many days I am saying that to myself

Time to wrap it up

Call it a day

Or a life (not that is not a suicidal statement)

It is hard to let go

Of the illusion of competence

But I suspect that if I just accepted

And de-fused

It would be better for the world

And perhaps

Even better

For me