rest, nature, books, music

“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.”

                               Leo Tolstoy

“After all, the best part of a holiday is perhaps not so much to be resting yourself, as to see all the other fellows busy working.”

                               Kenneth Grahame (Wind in the Willows), The Wind in the Willows

 “I cannot rest, I must draw, however poor the result, and when I have a bad time come over me it is a stronger desire than ever.”

                               Beatrix Potter

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I think it was programmed in my soul early on

this idea that one must always be doing “something”

perhaps it came from my rural physician father

or my dynamo mother, who lead girl scout groups

and 4H groups

or from them as a couple

as they led the youth group at our little church

and were involved in service in so many other ways

perhaps it was simple a family tradition

as my Mennonite ancestors

were without exception, people who consciously

and deliberately served their communities

as teachers, doctors, pastors,

and more

(and yes, some were farmers)

But it is in my bones

the need to serve

to be useful

to help

and it is difficult

to rest

I know I need rest

my doctor tells me I need rest

that my body is designed for rest

my training tells me

self-care is important

so what is it about me

that pushes me out from underneath

the covers

at home I can blame the dog

who wants his walk

the horses who want their hay

but why on vacation is it so hard

just to rest

to relax

to step away from the computer?

why do thoughts of work

worries about clients

concerns about ‘forgotten’ tasks

continue to haunt

it may of course, partly be anxiety

and it may also be the fact

that busyness helps quiet the monkeys

chattering in my head

but I suspect it is more that I was taught

somewhere along the way

that if I wanted to have value

and if I wanted to be respected

and leave a legacy

I would need to be the proverbial “human doing”

that I would be measured by jobs and titles

and accomplishments

and, most of all, service

which means of course

that I am discounting my value

as a human being

it is a curious question, isn’t it

who do we really respect and value the most

who are our “true” heroes?

for me, one hero is my sister Susan

who has the gift of hospitality and compassion

another was “Aunt Pansy”, long gone

but who gave me such unconditional love

yes, there are the people of accomplishment

such as my Uncle David, who was an advocate

and a peacemaker

but so many of those who have touched my life

have done so simply by being who they are

deep down

at the center their being

people of quiet compassion

people who are simply

present

people who have taken the time

to let their souls catch up to their bodies

and out of the deep richness

found in moments of rest

are

Sacred Children