Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with
the mistaken belief that you can not bear the pain. But you have already borne
the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.
Kahlil
Gibran
__________________________
sometimes
when we have dealt with pain for a long time
we become our pain
pain becomes who we are
instead of our larger self, carrying pain
the self becomes swallowed up in pain
and it becomes our identity
we are our aching back
the abuse we have suffered
our worst failures
our sin
we lose sight of our original self
and our original blessing
and pain takes control
but here is the thing about pain
it is not who we are
we feel pain
we carry pain
it is powerful
but it is not who we are
any more than the flogging
the crown of thorns
and the cross
were who Christ was
those things were part of Christ’s story
but not the story (although we sometimes make them so)
the real story is the resurrection
the real story is what God was able to do
with the worst that could happen
and I think that is always the story
what God is able to do
with the worst that can happen to us
I have pain every day
the pain that comes from an aging body
well used
the pain that comes from an anxiety disorder
the pain that comes from big mistakes along the way
but I am not my pain
it is (when all is said and done) only a part of who I am
and when I can remember that
and after recognizing the pain, and accepting it,
(“Hello pain, there you are! How are you today?”)
I can move on, to the other parts of who I am
I can move on, into this moment
Into the things that are important to me
I can do what I value
I can be who I want to be
for the Spirit, the paraclete, the helper
the inner presence of the Sacred, Spirit, Jesus
is there to guide, comfort, empower, and heal
and remind me of who I am
Child of God
Pain may be part of my story
but it is not
and never will be
the story
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