home again

I am constantly on a journey home

seeking to find my way back to original blessing

longing to fall further and further

into the circle dance of love

 

becoming lost in love

losing myself in something I cannot define

nor adequately describe

 

I rely upon image and symbols

which are inadequate to express

what cannot be captured

 

sometimes they help

sometimes they do not

 

they give me words

but words fail

 

for my attempts to contain that which cannot be contained

will often diminish that which is infinite

and I will be left struggling

with all that does not neatly fit into any description I can devise

 

when words fail there is silence

where I simply sit within the mystery of Love

and there is union

 

I am [   ] whom I love, and [  ] whom I love is I  (Mansur Al Hallaj)

 

I cannot stay in this place

but when I return

back into my ego

 

when my false-self reclaims me

I am never the same

I am altered, re-created, reborn

 

this path is not linear

but is a circle

I move from communion to union

and back again

and sometimes, yes

 

I get lost in my ego

and even communion is strained

 

but I am constantly called back

and back

and back again

 

to that place where I lose myself

in Love

 

to that place where words fail

and all creation calls out

within my soul

 

_______________________

 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes[a] with sighs too deep for words.

          Romans 8:26