A very wise man once said
that suffering equals the difference
between what we want
or think we need
and what we have
I supposed then that the deepest suffering
is related to those desires
that are closest to our heart
that are deepest
and perhaps the most powerful desire
is that we be appreciated
valued
loved
I listen to many people share their struggles
and so often the source of their pain
is the belief that they are not valued
perhaps worse
that they have no value
and thus, are not
respected
or loved
for many life is nothing more than an ongoing process
of trying to find love
or more accurately, earn love
they believe
that unless they give
and give
and give
they will not be loved
it doesn't work of course
because our sense of value
our understanding that we are loved
comes ultimately from within
it comes from knowing that Love
the Sacred
that God
who is love
dwells within
that we come from love
are part of love
and are loved, no strings attached
Mark Nepo has a challenging meditation
that gets at the heart of this deep ailment.
He suggests that we breathe, and then do two things
Think about a person important to us (Perhaps God might be a good target too)
and imagine ourselves being loved by that person if we did nothing
and then he asks us to do (what to me) is a really difficult thing
loving ourselves, if we do nothing
his point?
that we are at our core
loved
and lovable
If we can grab
and hold on to that deep truth
there is no gap, between what we want and what we have
we already have
that which we so deeply desire!
