Violence

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent

                              Isaac Asimov, Foundation

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a cornered animal doesn’t think (much)

it just attacks

it strikes out, blindly, intensely,

seeking only to harm

only to escape that feeling

of being hopeless

and trapped

and so violence and brutality

beget violence and brutality

it is the way of the world

I try to understand this space

and I catch glimpses in myself

of this fearful mentality that must be armed

and must react

to any perceived threat

and yet

and yet

my roots and heart are in the pacifist world

my heritage is Mennonite

and although many Mennonites today are just Baptists

with another name

there is that heritage, of pacifism

and then there is the cross

and the lamb,

oppressed and afflicted,

Who did not open his mouth; but was led to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. (Isaiah 53)

I blieve in my heart violence is not the answer

It is only a short term solution

I am not a violent person

I cannot see myself going to war (except as a chaplain)

and I cannot see myself killing anyone

and yet,

and yet I am torn

if my family were threatened, what would I do?

if I could stop a truly evil person, who would kill and kill again,

with violence, would I not do it?

yet I watched as we answered violence with violence

in Afghanistan, and Iraq

I have watched as self-appointed emissaries of God

have gunned down my gay and lesbian brothers and sister

I have watched as people angry paranoid and out of control

have slaughtered children

it has been ugly, and horrible

and ungodly

I am torn

I want to protect

I want to heal

I want to stop evil

I want to be a person of love and peace

It is all so confusing

“hard is the way” Jesus insisted

He certainly lived out that difficult path

can I?

I do not know

I do not know

perhaps I would be violent

to protect those I love

or to protect the innocent

I can only hope, that if I had to make such a choice

and made the choice to be violent

that there would be tears

not anger

in my eyes