Its not easy

“… I attended a weekend retreat.. where the opening exercise was to tell a story about someone who had been Christ for us in our lives…  one woman stood up and said, “Well the first thing I thought about when I tried to think of who had been Christ to me was, ‘Who in my life has told me the truth so clearly that I wanted to kill him for it?”

                                                                        Barbara Brown Taylor

__________________________

Let’s be honest

The Sacred, when it is born again

there in that deep place at the center of who we are

when it stirs, and stretches

and makes its self felt

is not content to leave us alone,

to simply leave us alone,

as we limp along through life

carrying so much fear and hate

so much greed, and such a lust for power

The Sacred is not content

to leave us alone

burdened by guilt

tormented by loss

afflicted by hurt and pain

The Sacred is not content to leave us the we way are

but instead comes

bringing newness

change

transformation

“behold I am doing a new thing, can you not see it!”

But what the Sacred does

when the Sacred comes is not easy

nor is it painless

because when God comes

things happen

we are pushed outside of our comfortable places

we are forced to let go of our willful blindness

we are compelled to change the way we think

and the way we act

nothing is left untouched

and it is not easy

not easy to let go of our hate, our fear

our greed, our need to “win”

it is not easy to know that there are things about our

priorities, our ideologies

that are inconsistent with God’s intentions for us, and the world

it is not easy to see people we would rather not see

to really see them

those people who are poor, or mentally ill, or addicted

it is not easy to accept as God’s beloved children

those whose beliefs are different

whose language and culture are different

whose color is different

it is not easy to welcome those we would rather exclude

to value those we would rather shame

to help those we would rather neglect

to love those we would rather hate

and sometimes God asks us to do things

we truly hate

and honestly

the richer we are

the more power we have

the more successful we are

the more righteous we are

the harder it is when Jesus comes

because Jesus asks us to let go of those things

and we love them

we value them

they are what we believe gives us worth

they are what define us as (in our own minds) “good”, “blessed”

I hate the idea that Jesus wants me to let go of my importance

(or at least my need for importance)

I love being at the center of things

I love titles

And roles that give me status

God help me, I do

and when God calls me to stand back

to let others be at the center

to work in the background making others successful

that is hard

No, I don’t want to kill him for that

But at times I find his leading disturbing, distressing

and I wish that Sacred prompting would go away

Some hate the idea that they need to let go of their love of

Or their hate of Muslims

Or their rejection of people who are LGBTQI (do not call unclean what I [God] have called clean)

Some hate the idea of helping people who in their eyes

have not “earned” help

Some hate the idea that God asks them to share with the “unworthy”

Some hate being vulnerable

Others hate being generous

And yet there Jesus stands

With his beautiful and terrible demands

Love your enemy

Welcome the stranger

Turn the other check

Give more than you are asked for

Carry the pain of others

Jesus is not easy to follow

and those among us

you tug at our hearts

who challenge us to do what we do not want to do

to do what we are not sure we can do

well, they are among the ones

who are Christ for us

yes, the lovers are to

so are the accepting and the kind

but perhaps the most important person in our lives

is the one who puts the mirror in front of our face

and forces us to see

is the one who challenges us

and breaks us open

and leaves us

raw

and vulnerable

and forces us to rethink

everything