I am here

Clare, Clare, do not despair.

Between the bridge and the water,

I was there.”

                     “Ruth” in Louise Penny’s “A Better Man”

_____________________________

 

often,

as we walk down this twisted and tortured path we call life,

we find ourselves on a precipice

 

one false step

and we are hurtling

if not into oblivion

if not literally into death

 

then into many “small deaths”

into fear

and pain

into loneliness

into dysfunction

 

for some the precipice literally is

a bridge above dark waters

as torn by life they cannot envision taking one more step

 

on that step

off

down

 

for others, the precipice might be a bottle

or a needle

or a pill

 

for others, it may be the chance

to abuse power, to hit a wife, or child, or husband

 

to steal

or hoard

 

to act with cruelty

to flaunt political power

 

some of our worst acts of destruction

involve our destroying others

while we unwittingly destroy ourselves

 

this is a grief that cannot be spoken

this is a pain that goes on and on (Les Misérables)

 

this apocalypse of the soul

 

each moment a battle rages

between hope and despair

between reconciliation and retribution

between service and domination

 

each moment we hover at the precipice

at risk of tumbling into the abyss

 

sometimes something pulls us back

call it God, call it Love

and we collapse, gasping, sweating, heart pounding

on the firm ground

 

at other times we fall

sometimes merely slipping, at other times

leaping

 

and yet even as we tumble into the darkness

Love is still there

Even then we can be caught by grace.

 

For this is the mystery

The one thing that can save we wretched souls (Romans 7)

Love

 

Between the bridge and the water

In those moments when all seems lost

Love says

I am here

 

In you may not yet feel

May not yet understand

May never understand

 

I am here

to hold you

catch you

restore you

grieve you

 

I am here